Aaand I'm not sure why this sounds like I'm complaining, but there's something about that " dog " that drives me off the edge of sanity when it comes to looking after him. I mean, not that I care that much, nono! It's merely the fact that I must be in charge of this partnership, whether he likes it or not, just to maintain things in a delicate, prospective manner..and polish rough edges when things go out of hand. And to me it seems that the opportunity finally arrived, now that midnight went by 5 hours ago and I'm still making up scenarios in my head, which involve a dumb drunkard who did not manage to get home safe because his busy mind kept sending him to dangerous places, let's not mention the possibility of ..I dunno, the comfy lap of the enemy or napping below a brandish car...but evidently this is my mind's brilliant work of deceiving me and messing with my sanity..for God's sake..I haven't got a clue and I'm acting like a desperate housewife, which I'm clearly not and will never be! Clumsy brain, go to bed! Lights out, tah-tah! Ahem, now then, let's think of a pleasant tune, just to see if sand man will show up and cooperate...* mentally humming some basic classical tune * whooaa..this is sooo soothing I cannot concentrate anymore --Omg it's working, I'm finally close to --
" Honeeeeyy!! I'm hooooome!!! "
" Incre-fucking-dible...I am sooo pissed I need a shotgun ". Just when I was about to not give a shit anymore, it had to freakin' happen !! Now of all times !!! That IDIOT!
" Sweetie, I'm calling out to ya, why won't you shout back ? I need to hear your * period * voice delighting my eardrums ! " said the lousy bastard.
" Why don't you go to hell !! " I replied sharply , while banging on the floor with the sole of my right foot in a fit of outrage.
" I just came back from there ! " he replied with an unusually righteous and justified tone in his voice.
" This dumb fart really thinks he went that far.. what a joke" I supposed.
" Whaat ? You don't believe me ? Come see for yourself " he urged me.
I'm in no position to judge right now..I'm just going to casually smack him, because he's drunk anyway and he won't fight back, I reassured myself and then, with sore legs shaking out of fatigue, I proceeded to the door, opened it, stepped on the first row of stairs, while gradually capturing the faint noises of hum and hiccups. I'm dealing with a man who's under alcoholic influence and I do not know where towards the situation will lead. As soon as he saw me , he displayed an unusually jolly smile across his face and assumed a position of what could be .. an old time philosopher's. That I needed to see, I thought to myself in disbelief. I wrapped my arms across my chest and held a firm, solemn expression towards him. He figured my mood and suddenly started reasoning his unstable thoughts.
" Look , I can explain, there's a perfectly reasonable answer for this outcome. "
" Which is ? "
" I am very....very...incredibly drunk, drunkin'credible.."
" You're excessively irresponsible, that's what you are " I corrected.
" Is taht I'm not , with intent, I was holdeing my beer and the alckohol just poured itsself, it was like a never ending river of piss liquid that --"
" Omg, talk about being gross, do you mind ? You can't even talk properly, do you even hear yourself man ? "
" But I'm talkeing to yoah , wait oh sorry I do need therapy..my voice does not comme out riighh , but the suggestion iz the beer got the best of me and I am not going to zzlep .."
" You also make no sense, from what I can gather. "
" Mind me, the beer iz talkeing..itz speaking to meh, I can hear it loud and clear..I have a fuckin' lousy headacke..my head iz oooowiiee .." statement followed by squeezing his eyelids , frowning his eyebrows, straining his lips..looking like a gloomy puppy.
