blue

Epilogue

Today was the funeral for my best friend. The love of my life. The person who promised me forever. The person who I was forced to say goodbye to far too soon.

Ashton Blue

I was going to write his eulogy since he had no one else to do it for him. But I couldn't. I had too much to say in too little time, so I'm simply going to stand in front of whoever may attend and pour my heart out; unscripted.

If I'm being honest I'm surprised they even had a funeral for him. Who arranged it? His family abandoned him and from what I saw I was his only friend.

I prayed that my father and his gang were not the ones who arranged it. Even if they did though, I would not let that take away the sentiment of my speech. This is the last memories I will have in the same room as Ashton. I want him to hear me speak my heart.

I got into my car that morning in a rush, flower petals falling from my arms as I ran with a bouquet of black velvet roses in my arms; Ashton's favourite.

When I got inside the funeral home I saw daises and tulips scattered along the path to his casket. Ashton hates daises. And tulips. Of course only I would know that though, because no one on the face of this earth knows him like I do - especially not in this funeral home.

A few tears fell upon the roses still in my hand as I placed them in front of his casket and realised that a room that is supposed to be filled with love and goodbyes was filled with fake love and judgement.

"I still love you," I whispered to no one but myself.

The ceremony began, piano playing in the background. I didn't recognize anyone here until my father and his members walked through the doors. I felt disgusted. They didn't deserve to be here. I wouldn't let them ruin it for me, though.

No one had anything to say about Ashton. We just sat in silence until I spoke up.

I cleared my throat and walked up to the podium that was placed delicately in front of his casket.

"May I say a few words?" I asked.

Everyone stirred until finally coming to an almost silence. Good enough. I wasn't saying this for them anyway, I was saying this for him. And, not to be selfish, but for myself as well. For clarity. For a real ending.

I still didn't plan what I was going to say. I knew I wouldn't be able to keep it together, so it'll be short. At least that's what I thought.

"Ashton Blue. A sweetheart, an angel. My sweetheart. My angel." I stopped for a moment, thinking of what else I'm able to say before I breakdown.

"He was always there for me. He was always there for everyone, even if they didn't deserve it. Look at this room. It's almost empty. I can tell you right now that all of the people whose hearts he touched are not in this room right now because they didn't care, but he did it anyway. But I care. I will always care. I loved him. I still do love him. And I hope that everyone who was dragged here unwillingly goes home and remembers him as an amazing person. I hope we can spread his love and kindness past this funeral home; throughout this world."

I unknowingly let a single tear fall down my cheek, but I didn't wipe it. I wasn't ashamed of my emotions. He deserved to be mourned.

I stepped a few steps backward and placed my hand on his casket, not wanting to let him go.

Then, the unthinkable happened. The room filled with colours. Red, blue, green... the entire spectrum. I missed these so much. I cried more and more as I realized this is the last time I would be able to see colours, which really means it's the last time I'll be with Ashton.

I savoured the moment, not wanting to lift my hand from his casket.

It was his way of saying goodbye; saying that even if I don't have colours in my life he will always be there to give my life a little light.

I lifted my hand and the colours slowly faded.

My world returned to black and white.