~5~

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Olivia's POV

I laid in my bed, which was rare for me, and it felt weird. I didn't like empty beds, and most nights, I went and got Cayden. He would sleep in my bed, and it didn't feel as empty, but I miss Elliot.

I can't believe that I'm missing Elliot, but I do. When Matthias asked me about Elliot, I didn't believe myself when I said we weren't getting back together.

I did want to be with him, but I didn't want to be apart of a toxic relationship. 

I rolled over and laid on my stomach, and looked over at a picture of Elliot and myself. It was of us when we were in SVU together, before he left and before I married Martin.

"Why couldn't I have just give you more time? If I wouldn't have been so stupid, we could've been happy, and I wouldn't feel so alone." I sighed.

I moved away from my side of the bed, and laid on Elliot's part of the bed.

I reached into his bedside table, well what had been his, and I grabbed Elliot's wedding band. It was tied on a piece of ribbon, with my wedding and engagement rings. I held them in my hands, as I rolled over to lay on my back. I gently ran my fingers over Elliot's ring, and felt the engraved words inside.

Forever Benson and Stabler

A few tears ran down my cheeks. That was a lie.

---

I didn't sleep at all, and I ended up in my office, with a mug of coffee in front of me. I had texted Elliot, and was waiting for his response. I don't know what to do. I wanted to see him and talk through our issues, but then again, I don't want to give him false hope.

I groaned as my phone lit up, but it wasn't Elliot. It was Fin telling me that we had a case. I got up, and headed up to shower, and as I did, Fin actually called my phone.

I didn't want to go in, because all I wanted was to talk to Elliot.

---

Elliot's POV

I sped away from Liv's house, and only made it to a park before pulling over and crying. I felt so stupid. I was crying over my ex moving on. I should be happy because she's happy. But I'm not.

I went home, but it didn't feel like home. My home was at Liv's, where I slept next to her. Where I held her when she was cold.

But right now, Liv was only cold. Every time she talked to me she was angry and cold. She didn't want another to do with me, but all I wanted to do was be with her.

I drank all night, and then passed out. Tears staining my cheeks.

---

El, please answer. I just really want to talk. I need to talk to you.

I'm sorry for hurting you.

Elliot, please stop ignoring me!

I love you!

Can we please talk?

Please?

All of those messages came in at noon. I woke up and drank my hang over mix, before showering. I looked at it when I was getting dressed to head into the office.

Did she really want to talk to me? Because if she truly did, I'd be heading right over to the precinct to see her.

I hit her name and called her. I held my phone to my ear and sighed.

"Elliot." Olivia breathed, and I bit my lip.

"Olivia, were you drunk? You said you love me." I breathed, and I heard her shut her door.

"Elliot, I had a date with Matthias last night." She breathed.

"What does that have to do with this? I'm tired of telling you that I want to try again, and to only have you not want me. I love you, Liv. I'm just tired of getting hurt."

"El-" She started, but I hung up. I shoved my phone into my pocket and grabbed my jacket, and pulled it on.

I wasn't going to play her games. I didn't want to be with her, if she was going to treat me like this.

---

I sat in my office, and I talked to Izzy. I missed my daughter.

"You really cut your hair." I laughed, and she smiled.

"Dad, admit it, this looks better." She spoke, as she laughed.

"Okay, I guess your hair had gotten too long. How is school going, other than cutting all of your hair off?" I spoke, and she shrugged.

"It's okay. I'm not the biggest fan of school, but I'm getting to go to LOTS of parties." She replied, and I narrowed my eyes, and she broke out laughing.

"I knew you were lying, Iz. You are such a homebody. Now, are you coming home this weekend? I have your siblings, and I think I need time with all of my kids."

"Dad, what's happening?" Izzy asked, and I bit my lip.

"Nothing." I lied, as someone knocked on my door. 

The door opened slowly, and Liv poked her head in. Her eyes were red, and I swallowed hard.

"Iz, I'll call you later." I spoke, and she nodded silently. I shut my laptop, and stood slowly.

"Liv, what are you doing here?" I asked, and she came into my office and shut the door.

"I need to talk to you, Elliot." She replied, and I shrugged.

"So? Why should I care?" I asked, my voice cold and sharp.

"Elliot, please don't be like this..." She trailed off, before shaking her head.

"What?" I asked, as I became angry.

"I'm so sorry for hurting you. I'm so sorry for being a horrible wife, friend, mother. I'm lacking in all ways, and I hate myself. I should've given you more time to adjust. I should've loved and supported you when you found out about Izzy. I'm sorry." She choked.

I was surprised. I looked at her, and she kept her eyes away from my face, as tears ran down her cheeks.

I took a step back and sat on the edge of my desk.

"Elliot, I'm going to go back to the precinct. If you want, you can take the kids for more than the weekend. I know that you feel better when they are around you. I'm sorry. I really am." She whimpered, before turning and leaving.

I wanted to run after her and hold her in my arms. I wanted to apologize to her for being a dick. I want to kiss her and tell her how much I love her. But I was frozen in place.

I let her walk out, and I really hope this doesn't take us back to square one.

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