Somebody Stand By Me

The Past

*Stevie's POV*

It's one in the afternoon when I finally wake up. I get out of bed and take a quick shower.

Now I'm in the kitchen making myself a cup of coffee and I begin to make lunch for me, Sara and Ethan.

I smile as I think of my babies. I can't believe they are 16 years old! Where did the time go? I know they are 16 but they will always be my babies. I love them with all my heart.

Sara is so much like me; everyone always has called her my mini me. Ethan is not like his sister at all; he's the complete opposite. He's quiet, shy and just would much rather stay in the shadows. Which isn't a bad thing but, I feel there's something more going on with Ethan that is the cause of why he's that way.

I really worry about him; I've noticed lately he's become more of a recluse and he stays shut in his room most of the time. Usually, we would be doing things together but he just stays stuck in his room. Also, normally, he would be so open with me and not keep any secrets. I really need to talk to him and hope he will open up to me again.

I let out a sigh as my mind drifts off for a moment then the past creeps up on me, which I don't do too often. It's too painful but now that I'm a few weeks away from seeing Lindsey again, all those memories came flooding back.

When we met, I felt that instant connection between us. As time passed and we decided to become a couple, I can say without hesitation that I was absolutely in love with Lindsey and he was in love with me.

When we found out I was pregnant with Ethan and Sara, we were so happy. Yes we were in a band and we were on the road a lot, but we were ecstatic to finally become parents. We got married soon after our twins were born and for some time, we were so happy.

Sure it was tough having two toddlers on the road but Lindsey and I made it work. We hid them from the horrors of what went on backstage and if it wasn't for them, I for sure would have continued to do the drugs I had been doing and if I'm honest, I wouldn't be here right now. Well, that's what I believe anyway.

My mind then wanders to when things between Lindsey and I began to deteriorate. First it was just small arguments here and there then they soon grew to shouting matches. After that, our verbal fights turned into physical ones.

I never expected that Lindsey would ever put his hands on me. The first time he hit me I was in complete shock. I was stunned. When he continued to do it, I had had enough and I fought back. We would leave each other black and blue after our fights. Worst of all, my children saw and heard it all.

I feel like a horrible mother for putting my children through that; but love blinded me. Even though he hit me and called me every name in the book, I still loved him.

Around the time that things did get worse, I was five months pregnant when I went into premature labor and lost our baby. The stress Lindsey put me through caused it. It was the worst moment I have ever been through. It took me a while to find some peace and it was because of Ethan and Sara; again if it wasn't for them I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't have survived losing my baby boy. I still think about my baby every single day. I have even filled a few journals of letters I have written to him. I like to believe that he has read every single one of my letters to him. Does that sound crazy? I don't know, maybe. But it did help me cope with his lose.

After losing our son, Lindsey had actually changed. He had become the man I had married and for some time things were so calm and we were happy again.

But in 1998 I found out he had cheated on me and had been seeing his mistress for two years then he had gotten his mistress pregnant, I was finally done. I filed for divorce soon after and that was that.

It's just been my two children and I. Lindsey hasn't even tried to see Ethan and Sara. It makes me so angry; if he wants nothing to do with me then that's fine. But Ethan and Sara are his children! He should at least have a relationship with them.

Oh god...maybe going back into the studio is a bad idea. There's too much anger I have towards Lindsey that I don't know if we can be stuck in the same room with him for so many hours and months. Maybe I should call Mick and tell him I can't do this album. I feel so conflicted.

I am pulled out of thoughts by the ringing of our house phone. I finish pouring my cup of coffee then I walk over to answer it.

"Hello."
"Stevie...it's me. Lindsey."

I stay silent for a moment, i am shocked to hear his voice coming through the phone. What could he possibly want? Okay Stevie, stay calm.

"Yes. What can I help you with?" I say trying to sound calm.
"Stevie, May I please go over to your place so we can talk?" He asks. "Please, Stevie. I really want to talk things through before we go back into the studio."

I stay silent for again; should I say yes? What do I do? Well...what's the worst that can happen?