Somebody Stand By Me

Girl's Night

*Stevie's POV*

My eyes flutter open and at first I'm disoriented. I then realize I'm still laying on the floor. I must have fallen asleep from crying so much.

The memories of what Ethan had revealed last night comes flooding back and I can't help but break out in tears again. I have my moment then I stand up from my spot on the floor and walk out.

I look at the clock and it's still dark out. It's five am. Robert is still asleep. I walk into my bathroom and freshen up. I wash my face and I'm finally able to calm myself.

Once I'm done in the bathroom, I walk out then I climb into bed and carefully hold Robert close to me. He stirs and he moves so I'm able to comfortably be half laying on him.

He quickly settles down again and he falls back to sleep again. I'm glad he didn't fully wake up. I don't think I could have answered any questions right now had he asked where I have been, had he noticed.

Exhaustion hits me and now that I am in Robert's arms I feel so comforted. I drift off to sleep, my last thought before I fall asleep are my babies.

*Ethan's POV*

I wake up with a smile on my face. I'm so glad I told my mom the truth about myself. I know there's a long way to go and it won't be easy but I feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders.

Sara was right about my mom. I can't believe I let my fear get in the way from telling her before. But what's important now is that she does know.

I get up and get ready for the day. After getting ready, I grab my backpack I take with me everyday to the studio and I make my way downstairs.

When I get there, Sara, Mom, and Robert are already in the kitchen. I greet them happily but then I noticed my mom's face. She looks as if she didn't get much sleep last night.

I feel bad because I know it's because of me. I walk up to her and give her a big hug. She relaxes then pulls away and she is smiling warmly at me.

Robert has cooked breakfast for us and we sit down and eat. We make some small talk and Mom seems like herself again.

After breakfast, Robert walks out of the house with us and we say goodbye then we are on our way to the studio while Robert leaves to his house.

Our day goes on as usual in the studio. It's just a normal day and we are even visited by our half siblings.

We've met them a while back and it was awkward. But now I guess, it's a little better.
I guess it's the age gap that doesn't allow Sara or me to get close to them. Although again the thought of them being the reasons why our dad abandoned us doesn't help either. I know I shouldn't think that way but I can't help it.

But Sara and I do try our best to have a relationship with them. Kristen is there also and again, it's hard to be in the same room with her but we have to make it work.

I don't know how Mom does it; I think it's because she's too focused on the recording of this new album to pay any attention to Kristen.

So at the moment, Sara and I are coloring with Will and Leelee. Well, Sara and I are drawing in our sketch books and Will and Leelee are coloring in their coloring books. It may not be the same activity but, at least we are sitting down together and bonding.

Kristen is sitting close by reading a magazine and the band is busy recording. We don't really acknowledge Kristen. Again, it's hard to be open to her.

Later, Mom tells us we are going home. She is done for the day. Sara and I say goodbye to uncle Mick and uncle John then we hug Dad then we follow Mom out the door.

When we get home, mom tells us to get into our pajamas so we can get our girls night started. Mom orders a pizza for Sara and I and she orders herself a salad.

We go up to her room once we finish eating and climb into mom's bed and I put on a movie.

We get everything we need to paint our nails and with the movie playing in the background, we get to work on giving each other a manicure.

We all choose mom's favorite color of nail polish; a bright red polish. I can't believe I'll be able to paint my nails red! I've always loved this color.

Mom paints my nails and I can't tell you what that means to me. It makes me so happy.

We all are having a great time but I can't help but see some pain in my mother's eyes. I even see some tears form in her eyes but she never lets them fall.

I want to ask what is wrong but I'm afraid to ask.

After our nails our painted and dried, we lay down and pay attention to the final hour of the movie.

*Stevie's POV*

We have just finished painting our nails and now we are watching the rest of the movie that Ethan put on.

I'm not paying attention to it; my mind is reeling. I just painted my son's nails. My son. My beautiful baby boy who says he is trapped in the wrong body. He said he is a girl. She's a girl.

I suddenly start to blame myself; did I do something wrong when I was pregnant that Ethan turned out this way? Did I eat the wrong food? Did I not take care of myself? Is this my fault?

Oh god, this is too much. Tears roll down my cheeks, I can't stop them.

"Mom?" Sara says.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't realize that I had started sobbing.

I look at my children and sob harder; I grab them in a hug and tell them that I love them over and over again.

"Mom, what's wrong?" Ethan asks.
I look into his eyes and say. "This is my fault! I should have eaten healthier while I was pregnant with you. Maybe I did something wrong that caused you to be born in the wrong body. It's my fault you are this way. I'm so sorry Ethan. I'm so sorry."

As I speak, I know those thoughts are ridiculous. They make no sense what so ever, but I'm trying so hard to make sense of this situation. The thoughts argued my mind and won't go away.

Ethan's eyes glass over with tears and he says. "No! Mom, no. It's not your fault. Please don't think that. It...this...this is just what I was dealt with and now I can finally be myself. Please mom don't cry."

I hug Ethan tightly and continue to cry. Sara holds us both in a bear hug and we we have our moment.

After a while, I tell Ethan and Sara that I want to start seeing a therapist. I want to see a therapist for myself and also with my children.

I need help in understanding what my child is going through and I need help on how to help my child be who he was meant to be.

We then all settle down and talk some more and we slowly drift off to sleep hoping for a brighter future.