Too Far, Too Fast (Austin Mahone fanfiction)

The Test

The Test

My heart stopped for a second, his tone of voice seeming scared and worried, but mostly anger. I turn around slowly, facing him, eye to eye. I look away quickly, checking if their is anyone outside. Not yet.

I stare at the lockers behind him, biting my lip. I wanna cry so bad, scream and yell at him, then crawl into his arms again. But I can't let myself. Not anymore. I fell for him, and like most things that fall, I broke. Into a million tiny little pieces. It hurt more than seeing him with Brianda, but I can't do anything. It's his life, it's his choice who he chooses to be with, not mine.

"I'm gonna leave," I finally say. I breath out shakily, checking back every now and then. I can feel his stare on my but choose to ignore it. "I don't think I can last any longer in here, the same building as you." I finally admit.

"I just wanna-"

"I know you wanna explain. I would let you, but no matter the reason, I know you wanted her. I saw the lust in your eyes. You wanted her so bad, and if I hadn't walked in, it would've happened and you would've forgotten about me."

"But I-"

"I don't wanna know. Sure you probably like me but not the way I do. I can't do it anymore Austin. This," I motion between him and I. "This back and forth, isn't working anymore. Whether it's kissing you or having sex, not a moment later we start fighting and go our separate ways and back. I can't do that anymore." I take a deep breath and meet his eyes. They're in shock and disbelief. "I love you, but I can't afford to be letting you hurt me. This whole month has been nothing but stress for me. You don't let me breath. When I finally manage to get a good drag, you drop back in, clogging up and everything. I choke on the air I have left. I can't even think without you. You push me so much. You accuse me of being a slut," I pause, a tear slipping my eye.

"But-" he opens his mouth but again, I cut him off. "You accused me of being a slut when I ended up with two hickeys, when honestly, I couldn't even fight back, he was too strong for me. It's was 12 at midnight and I was falling asleep." Tears fall repeatedly, my body shaking heavily with silent sobs. "You approved of the rumors everyone said and even said it yourself when me and John were playing around. You said the same thing after we had sex and blamed it on me."

"But I didn't-"

"And to think that I gave you something," I take a deep, shivery breath. "Something so dear to me that I thought I was giving to the right person. I gave myself to you. And you threw that away, like a wrapper. Now all I'm gonna do is float away." He stares straight into my eyes, trying not to cry. His eyes are rimmed with red, tears at the edges. "I'm sorry Austin. But I think it's best t-that-" I pause and take a deep breath. "I think it's best that you don't talk to me anymore. It's not safe or healthy for me, and it's not gonna do your career or your other relationships very good. I don't want you talking to me, or touching me, or even looking at me. Just stay away."

"You, of all people, know I can't do that. This has happened before. You tell me you don't wanna see me anymore, that you want nothing with me, and in the end, it's either me or you that goes back to the other. I love you and you very we'll know that. If you think that I do the same thing to other girls, that I did to you. You're wrong. Cause I've never... and I mean never... done it with anyone that way. Not Brianda, not Taylor and sure as hell not the other people you've heard about." His tears fall, the white part of his eyes now a reddish color. He takes a step towards me, cupping my face with the palms of his hands. I do t move my head or pull away. I wanna savor the moment, cause I know I won't be feeling this, his hands, his heartbeat, or his eyes staring into my soul. "I love you,t Lesley Jennifer Foster. And I won't stop, no matter where I go, or where my tour will take me, I will always love you. And I won't stop, til I find you, if you ever leave me... I will not stop looking til I find you."