Finding My Lost Self [to be edited]

Chapter 14 - The Announcement

Hello, Great people.. :D sorry for not updating earlier. Hope the long chapter makes up for the wait.. ;) I was rewriting the story and I had my final exams before that. :D Now I have the summer holiday so I'll update more often. :D Here's the chap! :3 

Chap. 14

I stood there feeling dizzy. the whole room was deadly silent and it felt as if time had stopped. I felt as if my insides were being shattered into a million pieces over and over again. saying it out loud made it real. I never wanted to say it and now it came out. the pain was unbearable. I felt tears threatening to fall but they never did. I didn't know exactly how much time had passed until Alex finally spoke.

"I... a-are you sure, Sam?" he stuttered in a strained voice. "i-if that w-was some joke of your's... j-just stop it. i-it's n-not funny... at a-all." he finished. his voice was shaking. I just stared at him. I never moved for I felt like my knees were jelly by now. my heart was beating furiously. I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. he got up and grabbed my shoulders, staring me deeply in the eyes. hopefully searching for any sign of humor or lying. it was one of those rare times when my big brother was completely speechless... and broken.

And then he laughed loudly as if I had just said a joke. I frowned at him.

"It was a joke, right? it was so funny oh my god." He said hopelessly as he forced some laughs out. and then suddenly, he stopped laughing and looked at me. he started crying.

"Mom is a doctor, Samantha. that just can't be. please say it was a joke." he said in denial and then laughed hysterically as more tears flowed down his cheeks. I looked at him helplessly. my tears were spilling out already. I just closed my eyes and hugged him silently. both of us were sobbing hard. this was te first time in like more than five years that I've seen Alex cry like this. to me, he had always been the careless rebellious brother who had always annoyed the hell out of me with his lame jokes and scared the boys away from me with his protectiveness.

seeing him so broken did hurt.

after god knows how much, Alex had finally stopped crying and looked me in the eyes. he stroked my cheeks with his thumbs gently, wiping my tears away. I sobbed even harder and he hugged me. he stroked my hair as he tried to calm me down.

"Shh... now stop crying, little fellow. that wouldn't do us any better. we have to stay strong for mom, don't we?" He said soothingly. I looked up at him. still sobbing lightly.

"B-but Alex..." I trailed off then gulped. composing myself. "I can do nothing to save her. the doctor said they did her an emergency surgery and they would see what to do when she wakes up. I'm not even sure if she would agree to take the treatment. our mom is damn stubborn." I scoffed. I really wished she would agree to take it.

"She's strong and you know this, Samantha. what made her raise us since we were babies by herself could always make her face this." he said in a strained voice. trying to sound calm. although I knew pretty well that probably world war III was going on inside him. 

I looked up at him as I swallowed thickly. I replied when I found my voice. "Alex. you need to see her. she's been stressed a lot about the way you had stormed away the last time you were home." I said seriously. he frowned at the ground. guilt was all over his face. I felt bad for bringing this up but I had to. 

he looked up at me. "I know. I've been an asshole." he said guiltily. "but I'll make it up for her." he stated securely. I smiled at him weakly. he hugged me again.

"stay strong for her, Samantha. you were always the reason of our smiles. you can't just be so hopeless, now."

But I can't...