The Daily Life Of Colee Magy II

Chapter 2: The WWE Smackdown

Before I did any defeating of any poop, I had some ass to kick. I raced towards Sapphire and Skittlez's house. Sapphire was the one that woke me up from my coma and I was SO. FUCKING. PISSED.

I was running down the sidewalk, when a cloaked figure stepped out of the shadows and beckoned to me. The figure continued to beckon me until I inched further, "Hey, hey, hey now. Hey kid. Come over here, kid. Come over here and touch my fingere. Smell my fingere. Give it a good whiff, kid. Touch it." She wiggles her finger towards me. When I was about to connect my finger with her's, she ripped off her hood and it was revealed to be... RUHISE! That itchy bitchy! I pulled my hand back and ran away, squealing like a swine. I betcha didn't know that you can do this thing to pigs called "forking" and it's basically poking them until they relax and fall over. Weird shit. My mom's one friend taught me that.

I eventually got to Sapphie and Skittlez's house, fury strewn across my face. I marched up to the door, fists clenched, just like my asscheeks like I had a damn constipation. That's what Sapphie was like sometimes; A goddamn constipation. After knocking for a good half hour, Sapphie opened the door and I tackled her, screeching. I beat her with a frozen dog I had just sitting around in my back pocket. Sapphie didn't like that so much, so she melted the dog with her head vision. I reached over to my left and grabbed a loaf of bread and stabbed her with it, until she gave in.

"HOW COULD YOU WAKE ME UP FROM MY COMA, YOU SWEATY LITTLE RAT!!!" I hollared, smacking my ass at her.

"YOU TRIED STEALING KARKAT, AKA THE LOVE OF MY LIFE YOU... YOU... C RA B THIEF!!! YOU'RE SUCH A GROSS HOE!!!"

"YOU'RE A MEATY HOTDOG!"

"SUCK MY WENIS! SMELL MY MACARONI FEET!"

*le gasp* When did Sapphie learn to curse like this? This wasn't like her at all!

"You learned to curse like a trucker from your boyfriend, didn't you!?"

"YEE BOI!"

"WELL I DON'T WANT YOUR STINKY BOYFRIEND! STOP THINKING EVERYONE WANTS TO STEAL YOUR MAN! I DON'T EVEN FUCKING LIKE HIM ANYMORE!"

"Zoo Wee Mama!"

And just like that, we were friends again. We went into her murder-planning room, where Skittlez was planning out how to murder Honey Boo Boo, which had never worked in all the time I had known Skittlez and Sapphire, "How do you guys hide the bodies so good," I questioned.

Sapphie smiled, "I've been waiting so long for someone to ask that!" She hurried me into another room in her basement, revealing a chained-up demon, "I feed them all to this fruitloop!" She said.