The Daily Life Of Colee Magy II

The Real Chapter 20

🅱️umac, which translates to "Camus" in English was sitting at the lunch table. He was eating an onion for lunch. Great choice of salads my meat-man. Keep spreading the love of our lord, Guy Fieri aka the Antichrist.

A whopping 2 months later

The next time I saw Camus was in a roadside swamp. I could NOT believe him and Shrek were throwing a swamp rave and didn't bother to send an invite to my salty ass. Not a fan 👃 I rated their party -4/5 stars on Yelp.

I was looking for my weed in my car, when I suddenly heard the frenzied shriek of PewDiePie's 9 year old army. The rabid children were coming for me. Suddenly, I heard something, "Hey 🅱️olee, what's 🅱️oppin 🅱️eesecake?l"

Wig. Flew.

I spun around, "H-hey" I nervously said

Here is a snazzy recap of what happened in the past 2 months. I was dethroned by a bunch of 9 year olds as the best 🅱️apanese speaker in our religion. My crown was snatched along with my weave. Mama Onion revealed herself to be a snake and could no longer be trusted. She yote my chances of speaking fluent 🅱️apanese out the window when she forgot JoJo Siwa was competition against yours truly and she  helped her with her dance routine. Maybe if I had opened my mouth and reminded her of this, I wouldn't be a Rat Peasant and I would be a Rat Queen!!!!

Mama Onion made things worse, by showing her love and support for JoJo Siwa. Sometimes I think Mama Onion loves JoJo more than me even tho I'm her fuckin kid. Mama Onion should just marry Jessalyn ((JoJo's mom's name for all you fake fans of Dance Moms that didn't fuckin know)) Siwa if she's gonna snake me and Papa Potato outta a fine deal.

I wanted Princess DemonSparklesAngstyGurl512 to be MY dance partner!!! WAHHHHH!!! My life is so miserable!!! Wahhhh I'm totally NOT a Mary Sue or anything that is super rich and powerful or anything!!!

Shrek flew in and patted me on the back, "Colee, why don't you shut the fuck up and stop being a spoiled brat? Hm?"

I nodded and snivled a bit, "Thanks for reminding me what's really important, Shrek,"

I smiled and gazed into the sunset. The Office theme played because Papa Potata was watching it on Netflix : )