The Daily Life Of Colee Magy II

Chapter whatever-the-funk-this-is

I was soaring thru the night sky when I krashed into a fat f*cking loaf of bread. It's fat rolls quivered with excitement as it jiggled about. I raised a lonely brow at the creature as it turned to me. In a deep, booming voice it spoke, "WHO DARE PICKLE MY PEEM?"

I raised my hand. The creature let out an ungodly screech. The sound made my eardrums explode and blood trickled from my rat-infested ears. This caused many rats to leap forth from within my earlobes and scurry about. The rodents raced at the Fat Loaf Of Bread. They squeaked as they climbed its towering fat. The rats bit the loaf which caused it cry out in thunderous scream.

I wiggled all eight of my toes. This summoned my sword made of  cheese. I immediately began swinging the weapon at the large loaf that was situated before me. This caused the Fat Loaf Of Bread to die instantly.

The rats returned to my ears. I thanked them thoroughly for a job well-done. "That'll do rats. That'll do." I said. Then a heavenly voice began singing

Rats, we're rats, we're the rats. We prey at night, we stalk at night, we're the rats.
I'm the giant rat that makes all of the rules!
Let's see what kind of trouble we can get ourselves into!

I began crying from the beauty of the song. Then I passed out.

~~~

⏰TIEM SKIP THANGY 🕰

~~~

I awoke many hours later in a hospital bed. It was morning now and the brilliant sun rays streamed through the window on the wall next to me. The door to my room slammed open and hunky Herobrine walked in. He smiled that beautiful smile at me that only the bae could conjure from his lips. He was a godlike being. His spectacular beauty was a force to be reckoned with.

"Good morning Colee..." He purred in that soothing, sexy voice, "I'll have you know that all your friends and family are dead."

I let out a gasp.