Scars

Chapter 11

~Jackie~

The next time I woke up Nate was worse than ever. He could barely walk or speak so he sat in a chair in the waiting room all day. I asked Russ and Amelia over and over again what was wrong with him but I got the same response every time.

"You're not ready."

"Why am I not ready Russ?"

"Because he doesn't want me to tell you."

"Why can he tell you but not me?"

"Because it’ll affect you more."

"How?"

"I told you I can't tell you...........please don't get angry."

My head all of a sudden got hot as I marched into the waiting room to meet Nate."Why Nate?"

"You're not ready."

"Stop saying that!"

"I'm sorry but it’s the truth."

"When will I be ready?"

"I don't know, can we just drop the subject?"

"No! I want to know!"

"Do you really?"

"Of course I do."

"Ok, go get my cane and we'll talk about this."

I ran to my room and found his cane prompt up against my bed. I grabbed it and return to the waiting room only to find Nate unconscious on the floor. My legs dropped by his side as I screamed his name. Almost immediately doctors swarmed in, breaking me away from him. The thought that was covering my mind was: what's going on?

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They carried him off into the emergency room. I ran off with him but not before the doctors blocked me. Instead I had to wait behind a glass door seeing only but a little of what was happening. My heart sunk as I heard the electricity go through his body. Amelia and Russ started to approach me with wary eyes. Amelia slid down beside me against the wall and Russ sat on the other side of my body holding my hand while comforting me.

"We suppose now is a good time to tell you what's going on."

"What do you mean Amelia?"

"On the day we both met Nate he was obviously going through something, he made checkups with his doctor and the news he got he was not happy with neither was Russ. Nate was dying, so on that day he made a promise that he would never love no one except for his brother cause if anyone were to know what was happening to him she would be broken forever. But of course he broke that promise when he met you and started to like you. He got notice from his doctor that he was not to engage in any physical activities including running. He was diagnosed with lung cancer. So when the day came when you got attacked by that bear his lungs almost failed him and became broken. He knew he wasn't going make it so he held off telling you the truth.”

"But why didn't he tell me?" I asked teary eyed.

"Because he knew that you couldn't handle it, if he told you then you'd would've done something stupid and thought that death was the only escape to life."

I started to break down and cry my head off, Amelia and Russ left me when they knew that they couldn't cure my agony. Soon or later one doctor came out telling me that he doesn't have much in him and soon he would pass on. I persuaded her to let me talk to him and so she did. I opened the glass door revealing an almost dead Nate lying on his bed half awake and half asleep. I walked slowly over to his bed and locked hands with him as his eyes flew open.

"Did they tell you?" He asked.

"Yes, they told me everything."

"Are you mad at me?"

"I would be if you weren't dying."

"I'm sorry I couldn't be strong enough for the both of us."

"But you are, you are so strong and I love you for that."

"You know, there’s this placed that I’ve heard of. It’s overseas on an isolated island….. They say you can see white shores there and the sunrise is pure gold."

"Well, that doesn't sound too bad."

"No, no it doesn't." I smiled while a teardrop slid down my cheek."Don't worry; I'll always be looking after you."

"When will I ever get to see you again?"

"In time....." He pulled me closer to him and kissed me softly on the lips then he whispered" Being strong sometimes means being able to let go….”

 His hand turned cold and all the warmth that I once felt faded. He was dead then.

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It's been six months since Nate died and not a lot has changed. I moved into an apartment while Amelia and Russ thought it was best for me to have company, I thought I needed sometime alone. I wanted to mourn his death but I also wanted to forget about it, because it was such a burden to bear. I am weak....a weak link, I sensed no reason for living anymore. Without Nate it is as if I'm back at my shaggy home with the master.....ready to slap me. I can't go on without him...all my plans for the future with him have vanished as if it were a fairytale. It is...it is a fairytale. I stride back to the park, where we had our first date. How peaceful and happy it was, but now those memories have almost faded as if they never existed. I looked at my arms and my legs, all of the scars I had were beginning to fade except for one. I know I'll have to live with it forever because it will never heal, it will never become whole again. It wasn't Master who gave me this scar...it was Nate. When he died I felt a slash across my chest, but when I looked down nothing was there. That's when I noticed that it was within me, it didn't make a scar across my chest, no.....it made a scar across my heart. No scar can ever live up to the expectations of this one. I kneel my head down in sorrow, Nate....he is my scar, a scar that will never go away no matter what I do, a cherished memory that no one can touch. Nate is my scar....Nate ....my life....my soul....my....heart. A heart can only last for so long with a scar, that means it won't be long before I join you, Nate. I closed my eyes, ‘Being strong sometimes means being able to let go.’ I repeated his last words in my head. "I don’t think I’ll ever let go of you, but I’ll be strong, Nate, for the both of us. Yes, I’ll be strong…."

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~Author’s Annotation~ This book is now over, so those of you who thought this story was awful, then you’re totally right. Yes, I know this story sucked and it’s immature, but that’s only because I wrote it a year ago, and I’ve grown in maturity since then. I’m thinking about making a sequel to this and I promise that the second one will be better, just bare with me until then. And those of you who thought that this story was great (which I highly doubt is anyone who read this) then to put it bluntly, you, my friend, are made out of awesome sauce. <3