First i want to apologise to you ... for my mood swings, for my complicated words, for my excessive love, for being insecure and for being... me?
When i will meet you.. you will probably be all my life and everything i care about apart from my education and my personality... i will love you till even giving up gives up on itself.. i will love you till the day you decide you don't want this love.. i will love you and i will try and i will fight for you every single second in my life.. ik you won't read that.. and ik I won't say that as well because I cannot just speak my thoughts and my heart out.. i am sorry for that too.. i want you to know that gifts doesn't mean anything to me.. just simple show of love is enough .. like a morning cuddle.. a cup of coffe you made me.. a sweet kiss before you head to university or work.. a simple motivational word when i feel down.. a simple silent hug.. just that. I don't want gufts... i want your love , show me your love that's all I truly want....
i am a broken girl that has tons of an extremely sad past.. but yet still laughs and smile in your face...
i will never show you my worries.. i will never show you my love .. i will be cold and i will be dry.. i am sorry
But I truly do loce you and I truly do appreciate you even though i am bot showing it.. i might show it with a little skinship maybe.. just a peck when we watch a movie .. holding hands when we walk down the streets.. caressing your hair and your cheeks and admiring the beauty of the deep oceans that will surely exists in your eyes... i am sorry that will be all i can do..
I am not good at being romantic.. i am not good at showing if my affection and love for someone.. but definitely I won't ever make you feel alone.. and I won't ever disrespect you or minimise you..
You will always be my everything even if you're nothing.. you will always be my shining star even if your soul is dull .. you will always just be my love..
You will suffer with me a lot and i am not sure if you can handle that.. i can totally understand if you won't because me myself couldn't handle my past so how could you... don't be afraid to go i got used to being left... but i am not used to feel happy because someone i love is happy... please be happy.
I am complicated, broken, insecure, afraid and weird girl that will probably never be understood.
I always say I don't want relationships I don't want love and love is painful and useful and all of these words that you would have definitely heard before we get together.. but i say them because i am afraid.. afraid to be hurt again.. afraid from the pain of broken hearts.. afraid to suffer depression and anxiety again.. afraid from everything.. just afraid.
I understand you my love and I understand your suffering with me.. and i will appreciate it with my whole being.
Thank you for existing.
YOU ARE READING
Midnight Thoughts
Non-FictionTbh i can write description but we all have this "overthinking" period that comes after midnight..Most nights i cry myself to sleep and keep overthinking. These are just some of my thoughts. Some are cheerful and some are depressing.. some are good...
