I wake up every day with this gnawing feeling. You try to push it away, but it gets worse.
I understand. I mean, I wake up every day with this gnawing feeling. You try to push it away, but it gets worse. It doesn't stop. This feeling. It hurts. It stings. All the heartache, the stress...it gets to you. So if anyone thinks suicidal people are stupid, please realize that when you are holding the knife or pills like me, that it's not easy to put them down.
I can't tell you how many times I almost killed myself. 100? 200?
But all I ask, is that you understand. Depression and suicide aren't like diseases. They don't go away after time.
They are deep depths of darkness, and loneliness. Depression is like a boulder of weight always on your back. Slowly hurting you. Day by day until you say "Enough!" And it says "No."
It doesn't stop unless you make it.
Suicide isn't about killing yourself. It's about starting new, a clean slate. To forgot your troubles, and finally drop the boulder.
Some of us took the leap. I really do envy them.
Please just understand that we aren't trying to be "selfish" or "hurtful." We just want that boulder to stop hurting us.
We just want to love happily.
YOU ARE READING
Midnight Thoughts
Non-FictionTbh i can write description but we all have this "overthinking" period that comes after midnight..Most nights i cry myself to sleep and keep overthinking. These are just some of my thoughts. Some are cheerful and some are depressing.. some are good...
