I Am Not Your Master; I Am Your Partner: A (Neko) Dan and (Human) Phil Series

Biology and Babies

Dan and Phil had been watching birth videos for the better part of the morning. Phil learned that there was a lot that he didn't know about female biology. He was fascinated by the entire process of labor and delivery. He admired the mothers, wondering how on Earth they could tolerate such pain.

Dan was also impressed by the female body's ability to adapt to the stress of labor and the trauma of delivery, not to mention the babies themselves. He wondered how he would fare as a woman giving birth. They decided together, that women were truly amazing and to be celebrated.

Dan thought about what it would be like to go through an entire pregnancy, sharing his body with another being.

"I would think it would be impossible to not form a bond Phil." Dan mused. "How do you feel him moving inside and watch your body accommodate him without falling in love?" Dan looked sad. He thought about his own mother, but more than that, he was thinking about Caroline.

Phil knew Dan well enough to know exactly what he was thinking and feeling. "I know Dan. We will take care of her. I promise."

Dan smiled. Phil always managed to say exactly what he needed to hear. They cared deeply for the young girl who had given them the chance to be parents. They were forever in her debt.

Knowing that Caroline would be leaving the hospital empty, both literally and figuratively, made their hearts ache. It felt even more impossible thinking about how she would be returning home to face life without her baby while they experienced the excitement and joy of their son's first days of life together.

"Phil, I am sending you an article that I found on YoungMinds. It's all about postpartum depression. I think we should both read it so we can understand what Caroline could be facing. Did you know that mothers who are separated from their babies, for whatever reason, are more likely to suffer from some form of postpartum depression?"

Phil looked at his husband with newfound appreciation. He knew that Dan was an exceptionally compassionate person, so it didn't come much of a surprise that Dan be so invested in Caroline's aftercare.

"Dan?" Phil smiled.

"Mhm?" Dan replied without looking up from his laptop. He was sending Phil the link.

"I love you."

Dan lifted his head to meet Phil. He smiled and giggled, completely caught off guard by Phil's affection. It was not at all uncommon for Phil to speak to Dan this way - to compliment him, dote on him, or share his love. What did surprise Dan was the intensity and seriousness in which he spoke.

"I really, really love you."

Phil focused on Dan's face. His eyes lit up like blue gems, and his smile reminded Dan of the first time that they met. It was loving and reassuring, and it made Dan feel like there was no better place to be than on the receiving end of Phil's love.

"I love you Phil." Dan smiled back, more with his eyes than anything. There was an understanding between them that there was never a wrong time to say 'I love you.' And there was never a time in which it meant less than 'I love you with all my heart and soul.'

For Dan and Phil, there was no such thing as a casual form of affection. Every kiss, every touch, every 'I love you,' meant something.

And there would be no such thing with their child either. There would always be actions behind the words, actual examples of love and respect to give the words meaning. 'I love you' would not be a habit at the end of a phone call or at the end of the day; it would always mean something special.

"Thanks Sweetheart. I will read this after lunch. We can talk about it tonight, yeah?" Phil stood up and walked to Dan, who was set up at the dining table. He lifted his chin to meet his husband's lips.

"Thank you Darling." Dan watched as Phil opened the oven to remove their pizza. They had been craving it for some time, Dan was especially looking forward to it; his heat would start in less than 12 hours. He was in need of fuel.

They had been relieved to find out that the likelihood of their baby's birth during Dan's heat was extremely slim. They had another two weeks until Baby Lester arrived, possibly more.

The baby had yet to descend into Caroline's narrow pelvis. It was possible that he would not fit. Still, the midwife had determined that her cervix was still long and closed. She had yet to experience any contractions, real or otherwise.

Kate and Michael would come to stay during Dan's heat to help care for the baby. Occasionally, they would travel to Manchester so that their son could experience the love and light of his grandparents' home.

As promised, Phil did research on parenting with heat. He was surprised to learn that heat could be chemically suppressed. There were many reasons why a Neko would chose to do this: work, travel, caring for a loved one, medical limitations, imprisonment, and of course, the responsibilities of parenthood.

Heat could safely be suppressed for up to six months at a time. There were uncomfortable side effects, of course, and no guarantee that heat would return.
Phil didn't like the idea, and he was sure that Dan wouldn't either.

"Dan, I don't feel comfortable with any of this. I would never ask you to consider taking a suppressant. It's just not natural."

Dan agreed completely. "Thanks Daddy." Dan blushed a bit. He was so lucky to have someone like Phil who encouraged him to embrace his natural cycles and instincts. "I wouldn't want to lose my heat...it's important to me." He rubbed his cheek against Phil's shoulder in appreciation.

"There are ways that we can make this work. When Mum and Dad come to care for the baby, we can stay here and I will tend to you. I can certainly parent while you sleep Sweetheart. You know that Mum and Dad understand, and they are also opposed to suppression. They are willing to help out in any way that they can."

Dan was warm with gratitude. Kate and Michael were well educated on the biology of Nekos, having been staunch supporters for years. Dan always appreciated their willingness to learn.

Furthermore, they never made Dan (or Phil) feel awkward about his time. There was absolutely nothing of which to be ashamed or embarrassed. To Kate and Michael, Dan's heat was just as natural as female menstruation.

"I mean, we can always check into a hotel if we need more privacy Sweetheart." Phil knew that some waves of heat were stronger than others, and that Dan could sometimes be quite vocal.

They had once seen an
astrologer and learned Dan had a Gemini moon sign. Periods of heat occurring during the full Gemini moon were particularly intense. Phil learned how to follow not only the moons phases, but also its movement through the zodiac.

"Yeah, we can always do that. It's always nice to be home in our own bed, but it's definitely an option." Dan smiled. He knew, instinctively, that everything would work out nicely. "Besides Phil," Dan nestled closer, "heat will keep us connected. It will always be our time." Phil smiled back and nodded, tucking a wayward curl behind Dan's ear.

"Forever and ever." Phil kissed him, tasting the sweetness of Dan's lips. It was impossible to say who actually deepened the kiss; they seemed to slip away at the same time.

"Eat up Sweetheart. I would love to see you in bed by 10:00 tonight. A well-rested kitten is a healthy kitten." Phil giggled. He rolled the wheel through the pizza, cutting in into eight pieces. "And water Baby...lots of water."

Dan hoped that one day, their son would find someone like Phil. There were many ways to measure success, and Dan thought about how success and happiness were two very different things. For their son, he wanted happiness regardless of success, quality over quantity, and for him to know what of feels like to love well and to be loved well.

Certainly his chances were greater having a man like Phil to guide him and love him.