I Am Not Your Master; I Am Your Partner: A (Neko) Dan and (Human) Phil Series

Love Heals Wounds Faster Than Time

Phil let Dan sleep. Flashbacks were rough. It was true that Dan had returned to peaceful sleep with Phil by his side, though Dan required more sleep than most. The late morning sun peeked through the top of the curtains in tiny slivers as they were still closed tightly to block out the lightning from the early-morning storm. Although Phil really needed to use the bathroom, he stayed put. He would need to be there when Dan woke up. It was not that Dan was needy, rather Phil took his responsibility to protect and soothe his partner very seriously. He realized that Dan would probably laugh at him for denying himself the toilet just to be there when he woke. Still, he didn't move an inch. Dan's eyelids fluttered and his tail twitched. It wouldn't be long now anyway.

The two had not spent a single night apart in eight years. Though there was a time (due to an awful misunderstanding) that Dan feared separate sleeping quarters. Dan had been living in Phil's home for nearly a fortnight when he noticed something that made his heart drop.

Phil had been working online one afternoon, and Dan had to occupy himself for a few hours. Phil suggested that he read something. Dan loved to read, in fact, it was how he survived his adolescence within the cold walls of the Cornwall Home for Neko Boys in the southwest countryside. He taught himself how to read at a young age, and he had progressed to rather complex novels by age ten. Phil loved that Dan was a reader, especially since he was an avid reader himself.

Dan poked around in Phil's study looking for something that he had not already read. He was not surprised to discover that he and Phil enjoyed the same authors. Dan fingered the spines of countless books before settling on Wicked, by Gregory Maguire. He read it years ago, though he had yet to read the other three books in the series (and Phil possessed the entire collection). He decided to start from the beginning. Just as he was about to join Phil in the lounge, Dan noticed something that caused him to drop the book to the floor.

It was more of a mess than anything really. There, on the edge of Phil's desk, was a haphazard pile of books. Dan could see that they were all about Nekos. He already knew that Phil liked to do his research, so he didn't think much of it. There was Neko Nutrition, Bonding with Your Neko, The History of Nekos, and even a book about the modern workings of the Neko Trade. But the one book that caused Dan's blood to run cold was the one on the very bottom:  Sleep Train Your Neko in Three Easy Steps.

Hot tears threatened to spill over the rims of Dan's big, brown eyes. Why would Phil have this book? Was he planning to train Dan? Would he really make him sleep alone? They had already fallen into a routine. Phil would invite Dan to sleep next to him in his bed and they would cuddle until Dan fell asleep. Dan was hurt and confused. This didn't feel like Phil. Something was very wrong. He felt dizzy, and he had to sit down right where he stood.

"Dan?" Phil called from the other room. "Dan, did you find anything interesting to read?" His voice felt so far away, as if Dan was hearing him underwater. Because he had not replied, Phil appeared in the doorway.

Phil found him under the desk looking a lot like he had when he first found him inside the train station bathroom. Dan had his knees pulled up to his chest and his head was buried in the small space between them. His ears were plastered to his head, and his tail was weakly wrapped around his ankles. Phil got down on his hands and knees and crouched down beside him.

"Dan? What is the matter Sweetheart?" Phil reached out to touch his arm, but Dan flinched.

Phil felt confused. What happened that would cause Dan to withdraw this way? He knew that Dan had been through unspeakable trauma in recent months, and he had been reading about flashbacks. Phil thought that he recognized some of the signs of traumatic recall. One of the books that his mum sent him suggested that he speak calmly, allow personal space, and warned against abandonment. He took a deep breath and tried again.

"Dan, I want to help you." Phil watched as Dan's tail relaxed and drooped across his feet. "Can you look at me Sweetheart?"

Dan loved it when Phil spoke to him this way. He felt warm inside when he called him 'sweetheart.' No one had ever used pet names with him before. In fact, it had been three years since anyone had called him by his actual name. He was "611," and his masters traded him as easily as one might change their mind about breakfast. To be called 'sweetheart' was to feel loved. Dan lifted his face to meet Phil's.

Phil's eyes pierced him in a way that he could not fully describe. It felt a little like what love sounded like. This, of course, made it so much more difficult to believe that Phil would train him. Training led to ownership, and ownership led to trade. Dan knew that he had to find out for sure.

"Talk to me Dan." Phil was genuinely concerned.

Dan didn't know what to say, so he shifted his eyes to the pile of books teetering on the corner of Phil's desk. Phil followed but still felt confused.

"The mess?" Phil honestly didn't understand what was troubling Dan. "The books?"

Dan nodded. "Are you...are you going to sleep train me Phil?" His voice was small.

"Sleep train you? What in the world?" Phil looked back to the books and realized that, in fact, there was a title called, Sleep Train Your Neko In Three Easy Steps. He was absolutely mortified.

"No, Dan. No, of course not!" Phil remembered to keep his voice calm and even. "Of course not Sweetheart. I would never dream of training you to do anything." Dan pulled his knees away from his chest and let his long legs fall to the sides so that he was sitting upright. His ears twitched, and he rolled the tip of his tail between his palms.

"But why do you have that book? I don't understand." Dan looked down. He was afraid that if he looked at Phil, he may cry.

"My mum sent me these books Dan. I told her all about you. I panicked because I didn't know much about Nekos, so my mum found these online and sent them. She sent everything that she could find so I could learn more about you and what you need." Phil's cheeks burned with embarrassment.

"You, you told your mum about me?" Dan blushed. He stopped fumbling with his tail and pulled himself closer to Phil. Dan couldn't believe it. He hoped that his excitement wasn't too obvious.

"Of course I did Dan, you're part of my life now." Phil smiled and reached up to move a section of hair that fell across Dan's left eye. The touch, however subtle, caused Dan to shiver. It was an exciting feeling that he could not recall. It was the same feeling that he got when he looked into Phil's eyes.  He wondered if Phil felt it too.

"I don't believe in training anyone to do anything. I have been reading awful things about the treatment of Nekos, and it hurts me deeply. You are my friend Dan, and I want to take care of you....I want us to take care of each other." Phil swallowed thickly. He sat back and waited. Did he say too much?

Before Phil could worry about his words for another second, he felt Dan's lips on his own. Dan was kissing him. It was a tender kiss, warm, and sweet. Phil felt his heart flutter. It was the same feeling that he got when he looked into Dan's eyes. He wondered if Dan felt it too.

Phil's bladder was really beginning to protest now, and it was a good thing that Dan rolled over. Phil's face was the first thing that he saw when he opened his eyes.

"Daddy." Dan said sleepily through a smile. "You stayed."

"Of course I did sweetheart." Phil leaned down to kiss the tip of Dan's nose. "We take care of each other, don't we?" They both smiled. "Now I need to go take care of my bladder."