I Am Not Your Master; I Am Your Partner: A (Neko) Dan and (Human) Phil Series

"What Would You Say?"

They lay together in bed, between waves of heat, Phil on his back and Dan on his side. The clean curve of Dan's hip reminded Phil of his favorite marble piece by French sculptor, Jean Arp. He decided that if he were an artist, Dan would be his greatest muse.

It had been a particularly intense period of heat. They had made love four times in less than 12 hours, and Dan was moving ever closer to his next wave.

For now, Dan rested his left hand on Phil's chest, stroking long arcs into his skin with his fingertips.

"Daddy? Have I ever told you how much I love you?" Dan's eyes twinkled. His hair was a mess, and his cheeks held on to the rosiness of his last orgasm.

"You have." Phil smiled. "But I could stand to hear it again." He reached up to press his hand to Dan's cheek, hoping to cool his skin.

"I love you Phil. I love you so much, and I am so happy to have you in my life." Dan rolled forward to kiss him on the lips. It was a quick kiss, and he intended to roll right back on to his side, but Phil pulled him in and held him there.

Phil kissed the tip of Dan's ear, and it twitched. "I love you too Sweetheart, more than you will ever know." He whispered. Dan felt a shiver pass through his body.

"Phil? I know that this may seem like a strange thing to say right now, but..." Dan grimaced thinking about it. "I had a dream...about my mum."

Phil held his breath. Dan rarely spoke about his family. It was a bit odd that he speak of her now, though Phil was always ready to listen.

"About your mum? Really?" Phil stayed perfectly still. He felt like Dan might stop talking if he moved. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Dan didn't know if he did, to be honest. There wasn't much to say. The dream had been short, more of a snapshot really.

"She was just...she was standing alone on a hilltop, and it was windy. She was calling out for someone, but I couldn't hear her voice...and then she just disappeared."

"Wow, Dan...that is something. How do you feel about it?" Phil felt a small pit forming in his stomach.

"I don't know." Dan sounded confused. "I couldn't even see her; she had long brown hair that covered her face. I haven't thought about her in a really long time. I don't know why it happened."

Phil often thought of Dan's mother, probably more than Dan did. He was angry with her, but he also pitied her. She missed out on an incredible person. Still, Phil wanted Dan to have some kind of closure. He knew that dreams meant something, and he wondered about its significance.

"I wonder if she is appeared in your dream because of the wedding? I mean, we have talked a lot about my parents and their roles. Maybe you are subconsciously thinking about her and what role she would play?"

It made sense. Dan liked the way that Phil always made sense. It was supremely comforting to know that he was there, ready to consider the possibilities.

"Maybe." Dan's hand had stopped moving along Phil's chest. He tucked it between Phil's warm thighs instead. "I think that it is pretty obvious that she was looking for me."

Phil squeezed his eyes shut. "What would you say to her if she did find you?" He held his breath.

Dan thought about it for a long time. His answers had changed over the years. As a boy he thought that he would run to her. As a teenager, he thought that he would curse her name, and as a Neko on the run, he would have walked away from her, not giving her the satisfaction of hearing his voice.

"Honestly? I would thank her." Dan was very still, and Phil thought that he could feel his body soften. "I would thank her because the decision that she made led me to you."

Phil brought a hand up to cover his mouth. He never expected Dan to say that. Phil felt so many things all at once. He was in awe mostly. What an incredibly mature response. This was a true testament of Dan's personal growth and health.

"Dan?" Phil couldn't see his face, but he didn't need to. "I would probably thank her too. I would thank her for giving me you."

Phil felt Dan roll over in the darkness. A wet cheek rubbed against his chest. Phil held him tightly and waited for his baby's need.

* * *

She never mentioned the man and his Neko boy to her husband. She didn't talk much these days. It seemed that her world was very separate from his. They existed along side one another, scarcely colliding.

It was easier this way. There had been so much blame. She couldn't live with her guilt, and he couldn't live with who she had become because of it.

It would haunt her for the rest of her days. The image of the brown-eyed boy replaced the one that she carried for years - his tiny body, curled into itself, a perfectly formed baby but for the whip of a tail and two cat-like ears atop his conical, newborn head.

She believed that he was a boy. She didn't ask, sending the squealing child out of the room before anyone could announce his sex. The room was uncharacteristically quiet in the moments following his birth. She wept and left as an empty and hollow version of herself.

She was sure that she was looking at her own son on the screen. Something about his eyes made her believe that she had, though she had never even seen them open. He was beautiful. He was kind. He was smart. And he was happy.

                       * * *

There was a time when he was so fiercely protective of Dan that he would not have let her get close to him of she had tried. Phil struggled with his anger. He learned to focus it, and channeled it into his campaign.

Dan was an adult when Phil found him, though his spirit was quite child-like. He was naive to the ways of the world, having missed the guidance of a parent. Still, Phil saw beyond it, seeing only his beauty, his heart, and his potential.

Phil knew what it was to be raised in a loving home. He lived what he learned. He could show Dan this kind of love, couldn't he? It surprised him how intensely he felt about protecting the Neko. It was instantaneous really. Phil knew the moment that the frightened boy accepted his hand, that he would spend the rest of his life protecting him.

Dan often spoke about how Phil saved his life. There was no greater gift - not just that he saved Dan's life, but that he showed him that life could be so wonderful. It was a long time before Dan finally understood that he saved Phil's life as well, figuratively speaking.

He didn't believe Phil at first.

"How did I save your life?" Dan shook his head. "I don't believe you."

"You don't get to decide what is true for me." Phil smiled. "You came into my life when I questioned my purpose."

Dan thought about it. Phil had an excellent point.

"You gave me purpose. You helped me find my voice." Phil bit his lip and blushed. "And Dan, you showed me what it means to love and to be loved."

Dan decided, at that moment, that he believed him.

Phil could feel Dan's body heat rising. The waves were coming closer together now. Dan squirmed in his sleep and began to whine. It was time to take care of his beautiful baby once more.