Surviving All Out War (BOOK FIVE IN THE SURVIVING THE WALKING DEAD SERIES)

Backsliding

     My eyes jolted open in panic. Nightmares. I've had nothing but nightmares since we attacked Alexandria a few days ago. This time it was about Merle. He was yelling at me, telling me that I betrayed everyone, that he hated me for what I did to Daryl. I didn't mean to shoot him. I mean, I wanted to, but I couldn't. I don't know why, I had my finger on the trigger, I wanted to watch him die. I tried to push the hammer down, but I couldn't... I couldn't pull the trigger. I hated that he refused to fight back, I wanted him to fight back, at least aim his gun at me, but he wouldn't do it. He didn't care if he lived or died, he just wanted everything to be over. I want everything to be over.

     "Hey, baby." Negan groggily greeted as he squeezed me in his arms. "Sleep alright?"

     "Yeah." I lied.

     "Another nightmare, huh?" I gently nodded. "I'm sorry, baby." Negan sighed. "But hey, you saw what happened to Daryl, he's not gonna bother us anymore. We just gotta deal with the rest of Rick's band of fucktards and we can get back on track, alright?" I gently nodded and Negan kissed the back of my shoulder before sitting up in bed. "Good mornin' to you-" Negan gently kissed my stomach. "and you-" Negan kissed another spot on my stomach. "and you." Negan gently pressed his lips to mine, causing me to smile. "Our babies are gonna grow up in a perfect world once this is over."

     "Almost perfect. We still got walkers, no government, everythin' that was once a normal day-to-day thing is gone."

     "And we will build it up once again. We did it before, centuries ago, and we can do it again."

     "Negan, King of the United States." I chuckled.

     "And my loyal Queen will be at my side to help rule it all." Negan smiled. KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! "What?" The door swung open and Simon walked in.

     "Morning, sir, Michaela." Simon smiled.

     "Mornin', Simon." I smiled back.

     "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"

     "Maybe."

     "Not yet, at least." Negan smirked. "Why?"

     "We have a visitor."

     "Tell Jadis she'll get her people today and to calm her fuckin' tits."

     "It's Gregory." Negan and I quickly sat up in bed, completely shocked.

     "What the hell is he doin' here?" I asked.

     "He has some information for us."

     "Take him to the conference room, we'll be there shortly." Negan instructed. Simon gently nodded and exited the room. "This is great news."

     "We'll see." I sighed as I climbed out of bed, walking over to the counter to take my prenatal vitamin.

     "What do you mean by that?"

     "It's Gregory. I never liked 'em, nor have I ever trusted 'em. He's nothin' but a fuckin' snake. We'll see what information he has for us, and we'll see what parts are truth and what parts are him blowin' smoke outta his ass."

     "Baby," Negan walked up behind me and wrapped his arms around my stomach. "you've gotta start trustin' out allies better."

     "I do, but I'll die before I trust Gregory. He's a coward, he'll defend whoever protects 'em outta fear."

     "Exactly why we can trust him. He's a coward. I threaten to bash his skull in, and he starts recitin' pages out of his lil' Barbie diary."

     "If you say so."