Surviving All Out War (BOOK FIVE IN THE SURVIVING THE WALKING DEAD SERIES)

A Walk to Remember

     I thought I needed to be alone to think things over, that I needed to be left to my thoughts... I was wrong. I hated this. Everywhere I turned, I got the same result, no answer. What am I doing wrong? Why can't I come up with a fucking answer? "Hey." I looked up as Kal approached the cage. "Ready to change your bandage?"

     "Where's Saddiq?" I asked.

     "He went with them. I don't know much about this kind of shit, so you're gonna have to walk me through this, alright?" I gently nodded and stood up as Kal unlocked the gate. "No funny business, either, Michaela. They're planning on letting you out once all this is over, don't do anything that'll make them change their minds."

     "Kal, I had no intentions of doin' anythin' stupid.  My arm hurts so bad that I would rather have stuck it inside a fuckin' meat grinder. It's infected and needs treated before it kills me."

     "How do I know you're telling the truth?" I let out a sigh and unwrapped my stump. The suture area was red and inflamed, the redness was slowly spreading up my arm, and the wound had a foul smell to it. Not a dead smell, but it was a definite sign of infection. "Dear God." Kal winced.

     "Satisfied?"

     "Yeah, let's get you cleaned up." I exited the cage and followed Kal over to the infirmary. Once inside, I quickly began to look around for bandages, rubbing alcohol, gauze, and antibiotics. The supplies were scarce, but I found everything I needed, except for the antibiotics. I walked over to the sink and poured the rubbing alcohol onto my stump, hissing with pain. "Need any help?"

     "Yeah, can you hold the gauze in place while I wrap my arm?"

     "Sure." Kal walked up to me and gently placed some gauze over my stitching, holding it in place while I wrapped the bandages around my stump. Once they were secure, he let go and let me finish. "Daryl was a mess when he came back last night."

     "So I heard." The room fell silent.

     "Look, I know you and I have never been friends or even on good terms. Hell, I mean, you tried to kill me."

     "You tried to execute me." I scoffed. "And in my defense, I didn't try to kill ya. If I was, I wouldn't have missed. I've been shootin' a bow since I was a fuckin' kid. I rarely ever miss. I missed ya because I wasn't tryin' to kill ya, I was simply just tryin' to get your attention."

     "We've both done things that never should've happened. I was completely against executing you, just so you know, but Maggie made sense. Rick was gonna kill you, her was was more merciful."

     "Most likely. I mean, Rick stabbed me back in Alexandria, that shit fuckin' hurt."

     "Anyways, I just wanted to say that I was sorry." I gently nodded. "Can I offer my opinion?"

     "What?"

     "You should choose Daryl."

      "Figures." I chuckled.

     "I'm serious. I see the way you two look at each other, how you two were after you escaped the Sanctuary. I saw love, Michaela. The bond between you two, I haven't seen anything like it in my entire life."

     "What do you see when you see Negan and I together?"

     "I see admiration, devotion, and lust."

     "That is literally love, dude."

     "No, it's different. See, Negan saved your life, right? He saved you from that David guy and then saved you from the walkers. He was also nice to you and gave you what you wanted no matter what. He loves you, but I don't think you really do. I think you just love who he is, love what he's done for you, but loving him? I don't think you do. You love that he saved you  and feel like you owe him, or something. You love him as a father of your unborn child, you love that you got anything you wanted and got to do whatever you pleased, but you don't love him, you don't owe him anything."