One Life {finished}

Eight: Why

I looked into his eyes. Has he been crying? He looked hurt and angry. But mostly batrayed.

"Caroline please answer me." How could I answer him if he perfectly saw what happened. I couldn't talk. I've never seen Derek this upset. I couldn't say anything because there was nothing to say. I'm so confused and I got two guys into all of my mess. I hated myself for this. How could I hurt Derek? How could I just let him come into my life. My mess. My disaster.

"Derek I wanted to tell you but you were so hurt from your parents. I couldn't put this on your shoulders. There's never going to be a good explanation. Just what you saw Derek and Im sorry." "Don't go apologizing! It's not you who's supposed to be apologizing! But you could've told me! The worst part is that probably you didn't even trust me to tell me. The most hurtful part was that you kissed him...you kissed him back. This is all my fault. I should've been there all the time." "Derek this all my fault! How do you think I feel! I feel like shit for not telling you and getting you into my life! My mess! It was a mistake. I regret it. I don't want you in my disaster. I don't want to destroy you." A tear rolled out of my eye and everything became me crying like a little bitch.

"This is not your fault Caroline. I love being in your mess. I love cleaning it up. Your disaster is a beauty. Every storm brings us closer together. Your the calm in every storm. Your the peace for me. I will never regret meeting you so please don't regret me getting into your mess. Because your mess is my life." Now he clearly shot me in the heart. I couldn't understand how he still wanted something to do with me. How could he see me as something so beautiful that could only destroy him every time. He wiped my tears one each cheek with his thumb. I closed my eyes and felt his touch because after this most likely Derek will leave me and I couldn't take it."Derek, you mean everything to me amd I want you to know it. I see you as the sun that gives my world light and warmth. That brings the peace not the storm. That makes things grow and bloom not tear and break. That makes rain sweet and soft not cold and hard. Your amazing Derek and you bring the peace I always hoped for and needed. I will forever and always keep you in my heart." "Caroline you know stars can't shime without the dark. I can't shine with out you Caroline. I need you. The moon can't shine shine without the sun and I want to be your sun. I always want to be here and I need you to know something. At the end of the storm there's a rainbow. I want us to be that rainbow. The storm and sun combined makes the perfect rainbow. I'm catching feelings. No matter how much I denied them Caroline. I want you and only you. I need you. I've denied my feelings for you everyday but I can't. I can't take it anymore. I can't hold it in anymore. When I saw you with Jason I realized you could easily slip away from me and that's the last thing I want. I want to be the one holding you and making you feel better and right now you crying makes me feel hurt because you're hurting. I don't like seeing you cry. I love your smile. No matter how much you think it's a disaster. It's my world and I want to be your sun." He looked straight into my eyes the whole time. I didn't know what to say. My tears explained everything. I kept crying of happiness because I dont know if thats how I felt. I've always denied my feelings for him but truth is why. Why? All the time I denied it more my feelings for him grew more. He is my sun. I looked at him and finally let myself tell him about all the feelings I've been dyeing to let out.

"You make my feelings grow more every time I denied them. All the times I hid them they showed up more and more to the surface and now I understand. I want you Derek. All I ever needed was you." I closed my eyes and went on my toes reaching to his lips. He pulled me closer to him and the kiss was all I needed. I wanted to feel Derek. What other way to show our feelings than by a passionate kiss. I felt his hands softly rubbing my sides. We parted away slowly and he leaned his forehead against mine. His hands caressed my cheeks. Then his hand took a strand of my hair and tucked it behind my ear. I took my hands from his neck to his soft cheeks. He smiled at me and I put my hands in his hair. I loved feeling Derek. I loved touching him and feeling him close to me. I put my hands around his torso and leaned my head against his chest. His hands slid down my arms grabbing my hands. He interlaced our fingers and smiled. I smiled back and kissed him again. He grabbed my legs and I wrapped them around his waist. He pushed me against the wall intertwining our fingers and putting my hands on top of my head. He kissed my slowly and left a trail of kisses down my neck and up to my jaw. He got closer to my ear breathing sending chills down my back. I hold on to him tighter. "I'll clean this mess up." He whispered seductively and it turned me on. I was about to unleash my storm to him. He made feel so different and good. I loved it. I realesed from his grip and put my hands on his neck brushing his hair with my fingers and pulled him in for a kiss. He turned around and layed me on the bed. I sat and he pulled off my shirt. He stood there wide eyed and intrigued with me. I felt slef conscious. My cheeks burned.

"You're perfect." He took off his shirt and I eyed him with desire. He had a tattoo on his hip. He hovered over me and kissed my neck leaving his marks.

I woke up in Derek's arms. I felt his chest brushing against my back and I knew that everything that happened last night wasn't a dream. It was real. I was bare naked and I pulled the sheets to cover my body. I turned around to face Derek. He was still asleep and his lips were parted. I touched his cheek and smiled. I leaned in closer and pecked his lips. They were just so kissable. He opened his eyes and smiled.

"Goodmorning baby." I loved the way he said it to me and how it sounded. "Goodmorning" I smiled and he leaned in to kiss me again. I heard a knock on my bedroom door and it scared Derek and I.

"Honey are you awake?"

"I'm coming I'm in the bathroom." Derek quickly got up and put on his boxers and jeans. He looked so hot shirtless. I wrapped myself in the sheets and walked with him to the baclony.

"Talk to you later beautiful." He leaned in and gave me a kiss. I didn't let go and kissed him back. He hopped to his balcony and waved back from his room.

"Caroline what are you doing? Why is the door locked." I Ignored my dad and blew Derek a kiss and he catched it. He is so adorable.

So you think it's over. Well it's not there's so much more to come. You'll just have to wait.