One Life {finished}

Ten: Mistakes

I woke up on my bed in Derek's arms. What the hell am I doing. I dont want anyone. I don't want Derek. I don't want Justin. I don't want anyone. I got out of bed and headed to my balcong and climbed to get on the roof.

It was still dark out and the stars were fading away. The sun was about to come up. I enjoy this. I wish I could stay here forever and watch the sun come up over and over again. I sat there with my legs up to my chest. I missed being alone so much. I love being alone. I'm starting to realize that I ended everything with Justin last night. That kiss was the last one and the last time I would ever see him. A part of me felt free but another part of me felt dead and stupid for leaving my first and maybe... only love.

Did I make a mistake last night? Did I really kill Justin and I? Us?

My thoughts were interrupted by vibrating from my pockets. I didn't even realize I was wearing a t-shirt and sweats. Derek probably helped me change last night. I took my phone out of my pocket and looked at the text.

Jason:

hey you guys left without saying goodbye last night and you looked pretty upset. ):

me:

I'm fine Jason. don't worry about it.

Jason:

What's wrong? talk to me.

I started typing but got interrupted by a call. Jason. I answered and he asked what was wrong again.

"Look Jason I don't have to tell you anything or get you into my mess."

"Meet me somewhere?"

"I don't have time for this Jason"

"Just meet me at the park downtown."

The line went dead before I could answer. Great. Just great.

I climbed down and quietly went into my room. luckily Derek was still asleep and I put on some jeans and a red shirt. My own shirt. I put on my converse and wrote a note for Derek. I walked outside and started walking. The park wasn't that far away and I was happy my dad picked this house because of how close it was to the city and the town.

After fifteen minutes I arrived to the park and didn't see a sign of Jason anywhere. I walked along the path of the park and looked at all the happy people. Sitting at the wooden benches having conversations. The people on bikes and walking around. It was such a surprise at such an early time. Yet again they are actually enjoying the perks of life unlike me. The trees in the spring were beautiful. The blossoming of violet colors on the large brown trunks of wood. The wind that hit my face; giving me the air of resurrection to my life. I inhaled the wonderful smell of flowers running around the town. kept walking in search of Jason. Then I felt arms around me and then a hand covering my mouth before I could scream. I fought the arms until he whispered in my ear.

"Guess who?" Jason's deep voice trickled in my ear. He uncovered my mouth without letting go.

"Jason you scared the shit out of me! This is no time for games" He chuckled. His laugh was so adorable. I turned around to face him. Then his eyes literally popped out of their socket. I satered at him confused.

"Is that-is that a hickey?" "What?" I remebered what Derek did and my cheeks turned to a dark shade of red. I nervously giggled and stared at the ground. "Ye-yes" He laughed and shook his head.

"Don't get all nervous just cover it up. you know." I smiled and untied my pony covering the dark spot with my hair.

"Come with me" He took my hand in his and looked around. Making sure no one was looking. Quicker than I could think he pulled me through the tall bushes. There was a small space in between. I didn't even notice it. Hell I didn't even notice the bushes considering I was admiring the trees. I looked up to see where we were. Holy shit. There were small flowers on the geound they were white. I looked up and saw masses of leaves on trees. The concept was that they were white but it wasn't leaves it was something else. The white astonishments fell to the ground every two minutes. They fell with the soothing wind. Then I realized the white flowers were from the tees. I was amazed by all of it. It was like a secret hide out. We were surrounded by the large green bushes with voilet flowers on them here and there. Jason came tand grabbed my chin in between his thumb and index finger shutting it closed. He chuckled and my cheeks turned to a blush of pink.

"Jason this is amazing! How did you find this place?"

"Well I was running from the cops and hid in here."

"Of course only you." I laughed and he made a big grin as if he was very proud of himself.

"You're the only person I've ever brought here so dont go opening your mouth or bringing anyone in here. Only you and me." He gave me a look of 'do you understand' I noded my head.

"okay fine." I was actually flattered that I was the only person he brought in here. I really like this Jason. The REAL one.

"So tell me what's wrong beautiful?"

"Jason it's none of your business" It really wasn't his concern to care about anything in my life. Yet he would never stop. Jason somehow always gets what he wants and he knows I know.

"Come on you and I know you want to talk about it." He was right I really did want to get this off my chest.

"Fine but first promise me something?" "Whats that?" "If I tell you this you tell me something about you. Something important you've never let out before because I know you will say somethimg stupid." "Noting about me matters Caroline." "Neither of me but im going to tell you. Pinky promise?" I stuck out my pinky and he wrapped his pinky around mine. "Pinky promise."

"Ok so I came from Atlanta like three months ago. And I left someone very specail to me. He was-" "Your first and only love." "How did you..." "Happened to me. I was so in love with her and then I moved here and my life was ruined. I started drinking and partying to forget about her and then got into the whole drug business. I was so stupid and now here I am. Finished with probation and trying to do something right in my life. For once I actually feel like I'm doing right ever since you got here. God it feels so fucking good getting this off my chest." "So you used to be the lovely Jason, the real one I met, and then turned to cold hearted Jason all for love." "Yeah but I want to hear about you now. I finished my promise."

"He was very special to me. I loved him so much I ened up depressed. I was on the verge of cracking until Derek showed up and started healing me. Then you showed up and twisted everything around. I didn't know what was going on in my life. I didn't know if I got over Justin or replaced him or loved someone else for him. Then last nights party. Justin showed up. I don't even know how he knew there was a big party or how he knew I was going to be there. Not even how paparazzi were there surrounding the place." Jason looked at me with guilt in his eyes. Oh God. "Justin Bieber? He asked me if I knew anyone named Caroline...I think or Carmen. Idk I was drunk. And I said yes... I'm sorry." "It's fine you didn't know Jason... He was at the party last night and half of me wanted to be with him and never let him go but the other half was of him dead and long gone." A tear fell out of my eye. Jason came closer to me and his hand went to my cheek. His warmth traveled through me and his thumb softly rubbed away my tear. "I just don't know what to do. I don't know what I want anymore Jason. I think I made a mistake. I need to clear my head. I need to leave. I need to get away" He wrapped one of his hands aroundy waist and pulled me closer. He hugged me tightly and his other hand stroked the back of my head. I rested my head against his chest and wrapped my arms around his torso. He smelled amazing. His cologne lingered in my nose. I closed my eyes and listened to his heartbeat. It was beating rapidly.

"Your hair smells good." I giggled and listened to his heart skip a beat.

"Thanks" "Hey you want to leave somewhere get away for the day, with me?" "I would love to Jason." "Where do you want to go? Pick any place. I'll make it possible."