Moving on - g.d

P r o l o g u e

I declined the 15th call from Ethan today. It was 8am.

Since I came back from my modelling job, Ethan hadn't left me alone. I'd received messages and calls from him, telling me how much he loved me and wanted to be with me and as much as I wanted to cave in for him, I couldn't. I couldn't put him through the struggles that would come with dating me. I'd be away a lot due to my modelling and I was a bad person, I'd left my two favourite people for a year without keeping contact.

If that wasn't enough, he was now famous, and not to blow my own trumpet but so was I. I was a world famous model, he was a world famous YouTuber. We would never have the normal relationship that I'd always craved from him.

The thing that hurt the most however, was the lack of effort that Grayson had put in since I'd been back. I'd only received one message from him and I wasn't sure what to make of it since it simply read, "glad you're back x"

The one kiss on the end had gotten my hopes up yet I had to remember that he'd moved on from me and he had found a new girlfriend. I couldn't blame him and I had to remain happy for him. I vowed to myself that I'd never be the selfish ex-girlfriend who'd try and steal him back. I couldn't do that, it wouldn't be fair.

I turned my phone off and went downstairs for my morning litre of water. Since modelling I had begun to skip breakfast and instead replaced it with water that would energise and help me start my day. I had ran it through my nutritionist and they'd told me that as long as I didn't skip any meals, it wasn't ideal but it wasn't life-threateningly dangerous.

After the drink, I heard a knock at the door and I knew before I went to answer that it'd be Ethan yet my body compelled me to the door to answer and my predictions were proved correct when I came face to face with my past best friend.

Before I could say anything, he spoke first.
"Shut up." Then with that, he pulled me into a tight hug that brought back my past memories.
His scent hadn't changed and I found myself returning the actions, nuzzling my face into his chest.

Gently, he hooked his thumb under my chin and brought my face to his. My heart rate increased rapidly as he slowly drew me closer, yet before our lips touched, I quickly pulled away.

"I can't. You have a girlfriend Ethan, it's wrong."
"I told you Cass! I'd break up with her in a heartbeat for you! You're all I've thought about for the past year..." he told me, his voice saddened and thick with authentic emotions, yet I couldn't allow myself to be so weak.

"We can still be best friends, we'll start off as that and if you still feel the same after a month then maybe we can look into perusing more."

He nodded slowly, "Okay, that's fair."

I nodded, not being able to help feeling extremely guilty. I had another photo shoot in China the day after next and it would mean that I'd have to leave the twins again for at least another week. This was why I was hesitant to date Ethan. He was perfect yet I was inconsistent.

Another major factor was the fact that I was moving to LA where more major labels were, meaning that I'd see the twins hardly ever, meaning I'd have to begin moving on.

"Let's watch a film." Ethan suggested and I agreed though it wasn't what I really felt like doing. I felt like curling up in a small ball and just sleeping for several days. I knew however, that I had to make an effort, especially since I wasn't being truthful and this could potentially be one of the last times that I'd be spending time with him.

He started to play Elf since it was nearing Christmas and he knew that it was my all time favourite film. I was touched that he'd actually remembered and I curled up to him, ready to allow myself become absorbed in the fictional world of Buddy the Elf.

I noticed that he snaked his arm around my shoulders, rubbing small circles and sending electrical impulses throughout my body. I scolded myself, I couldn't do this. It'd only hurt the both of us when I moved. Although I shouldn't have, I allowed his hand to remain there as I loved how natural it felt and I allowed myself to curl up before slowly drifting off to sleep.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been asleep for before I was scooped up into Ethan's large arms, my head falling naturally on his chest. I mumbled something that didn't make sense causing Ethan to stroke my hair.
"It's okay, I'm just taking you to bed."

I nodded slowly before I felt myself being lowered onto my bed. My mind was hazy and I felt myself becoming increasingly restless the more that Ethan moved away.
"Stay..." I whispered, keeping a tired, loose hold on his arm.

Instead of saying anything, he simply sat beside me, gently stroking my forehead, causing my eyes to flutter shut. My breathing calm and slowing. The effect he had on me was worrying as I knew I'd have to leave, but I found myself wanting to spend time with him, all worries of the future being pushed aside.

*******
End of chapter!
Woo I finally started a sequel!
It will get better than this, don't worry!
Please vote and comment if you're excited!
-Ky 💜