Moving on - g.d

S e v e n

I awoke to a strong clinical scent and bright lights invading my vision. Tubes were leading into my arms and I noticed a liquid slowly seeping through the tubes into my body. My head pounded and I felt lethargic, but I kept my eyes open, slowly glancing around the room until my gaze fell on the twins in the room.

Grayson was sat beside me, gripping onto my hand, worry etched onto his face, as Ethan gave me a scrutinising examination, disapproval obviously on his features.

"Cass, are you okay?" Gray asked as Ethan spoke up at the same time.
"What the f*ck do you think you're doing?!"

I stared at Ethan in shock, he had never swore before, especially at me so I knew he was extremely mad. Before I had a chance to say anything however, he spoke up for me, "How could you do this? Starving yourself to try and be thinner? This is so dangerous! At least your old self wasn't almost dying! This is so selfish and pathetic, do you not realise how much we both love you? We don't care that you might leave any minute to go and do a photo shoot, we get that. But trying to leave us permanently because you're not feeding yourself? We wouldn't deal with that."

My eyes watered and I looked at him, apologising this minute wouldn't change how he felt, I don't know if he would forgive me for this. Without another word, he silently left the room, quickly wiping the tear that was sliding down his cheek.

Grayson sighed, running a hand through his hair before looking at me sadly, "Are you okay?"
I nodded, "I shouldn't be here, I'm fine."
This time, Grayson rolled his eyes and I knew he was getting mad at me too, "Cass, passing out because you're not eating isn't fine. I don't want to have a go at you because Ethan just has but you need to realise that what you're doing is wrong and needs to stop, what got you to do this?" He questioned, staring at me intensely.

Shrugging, I looked down at the hospital bed, I couldn't tell him that his fans were mean and commented hate on anything related to me, critiquing me and leading me to change.
"I just wanted to be perfect." I whispered, part of the truth coming through. I did want to be perfect, I wanted the twins' fans to find me perfect for Grayson, but right now, they weren't.

My boyfriend's face softened slightly and he gently pulled me onto his lap, as though I was fragile, maybe I was. He also made sure that my tubes didn't come out and gently guided my head to rest on his chest.
"I don't need perfect and if you're not perfect then I don't want perfect, I want you and only you, I wouldn't have come back if I did. You're gorgeous and beautiful inside and out and in the time that I've known you, you've grown so much and I honestly think that you could be an inspiration to our fans. If anyone has said anything, I want to know so I can solve it, okay?" He murmured, kissing the top of my head as I nodded.

He gently stroked my back and we remained in silence for a while, "I know you lied by the way," he said after a while, causing my eyebrows to furrow.
"About why you did it, you was lying, I saw the fans' comments this morning, you should have told me and I could've stopped it earlier." He said, causing me to duck my head in disappointment.

He then proceeded to take his phone out and showed me a photo he posted of me when I was blacked out in the bed, "I explained in the caption what had happened and all my fans are worried Cass, especially the ones who were mean to you. Lots are commenting that they're sorry and that they didn't know that this would happen."

I nodded and shrugged, I should be happy, but I'm not. They're only commenting this because Grayson is mad at them, if I'd have posted it on my Instagram, they wouldn't have been half as apologetic.
"You could at least say thank you." Grayson said quietly, causing me to flinch.
"S-sorry, I'm not thinking straight..." I whispered.

I didn't get a reply and instead we remained in a tense silence until we were interrupted by Ethan.
"I haven't forgiven you but I want to talk to you." He looked at Grayson, "Alone."

Grayson's jaw tensed and he hesitated, looking at Ethan warily before slowly getting up and walking out.
"Why?" He asked.
I didn't want to explain everything again so I simply shrugged, "Ask Grayson."
He rolled his eyes, "I'm not asking Grayson, Cassidy, I'm asking you."

I widened at his use of my full name and gulped, he never called me Cassidy, it was always Cass or Cassie. This was serious, but I was also angry at him, I don't know why, but I was.

"Well I've explained it once Ethan and I don't want to again! It doesn't matter why, it's over now, it's not going to happen again!" My own tone of voice surprised me and Ethan glowered at me.

"It does matter Cass! It matters to me! You're the most important person in my life and you always will be no matter how many times you f*ck me over! You could leave me and break my heart 50 times and I'll still love you! I want you to tell me, I want you to just for once not be selfish! Please..." His voice broke at the end and I could feel my eyes water at it, yet I remained silent.

"Fine. Be like that." He sighed, getting up and leaving me alone, slamming the door angrily on the way out.

*************
End of chapter!
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-Ky 💜