Broken Trust

Chapter thirty- three

Chapter 33:

Anne's pov:

 As soon as I heard my name, I knew it was Jessica's voice. The hard part was seeing if it was just me hearing it, or if it was actually her in my house. I turned my head and dropped my glass in pure shock as a living Jessica stood in my living room. I was so worried she wouldn't be alive with how abusive her mother was.

As I examine Jessica, I notice how thin and pale she is, and all the scars of cuts all over her body. I want to ask what they're from, but I'm afraid of the answer. My thoughts are vanished when I see Harry slowly walk over beside Jessica. I remember when Harry was in middle school and everytime Jessica would leave the house he'd come up to me and say, "Mom I like Jessica." I only smiled when he said it. But now, as he wraps his arm around her waist in protection, I see just how much affection he carries for her.

"Harry," I say, and he's quick to my embrace. Hugging me tight and telling me how much he's missed me.

"How have you been mum?" he asks. 

"I've been well, and you?"

"Getting better," he says, glimpsing at Jessica. He comes closer to me and for a second I thought I'd finally get a hello kiss on the cheek, but instead he whispers in my ear.

"Jessica has gone through alot and I want to talk to you about it later when she's in the shower or asleep or on a walk."

A million things run through my mind of what could've happened, but I'm at loss for words. I nod my head and pick up my shattered glass in the kitchen floor.

Harry's pov:

Me and Jessica pick up our stuff and head upstairs to our rooms. My room is just across the hall from Jessica, but the thought of her hurting herself still scares me and I still worry that she will do it again.

Niall's pov:

I get on the plane with no fans swarming me. I still wish Jessica would've came with me instead, but that plan was ruined when me and Ellie started "dating" so I'm not going to complain anymore about it.

Ellie met me at the airport earlier to say good bye. It was actually a publicity stunt to get the fans and paps wondering what's going on. I've tried to get ahold of Ed, but he refuses to talk to me so I'm guessing he's heard the news. 

I put my head phones on, listening to music, until I fall into a deep sleep.

Zayn's pov:

The drive up to my house was quite boring, but Perrie will be here in an hour or so. My mum was so happy to see me, along with my sisters, but my excitement went rather low when I realized none of the boys were with me. They're my new family and without them everything just seems so boring. 

I saw an article in the magazine about Ellie saying good bye to Niall at the airport. I'll have to call him about it later and find out if they have a thing now. Last I heard, Ed had a huge thing for her. Oh well.

Louis' pov:

I got here, to my actual home. It's not as exciting as it is with the boys, but I'm glad to finally see my family.

Liam's pov:

It's a little awkward wit my family. But things will get more comfortable as the days go by, or atleast I hope it does...

Jessica's pov:

I lay in bed, listening to my music and trying to drift to sleep, but it isn't working. I pull out my journal and read the sad pages. The suicide letters I had written. The first one is to my dad.

Dear Daddy,

          I know you can't physically read this, but I know you can see it. I'm sorry for causing your accident. I didn't mean to do anything wrong.I still love you, but life here without was just too much for me to handle. When I had problems at school you would always tell me to stay strong and that the storm will pass, but the storm hasn't passed since you left. And I just want to see a rainbow. So this is my good bye to the everyone else, but my hello to you. I'll be up there in a minute daddy.

I remember writing this the first time I had tried overdosing on pills. It was as soon as I moved to California. I wrote all these that night.

Dear mother,

             I can honestly say that I despise you with every piece of me. I hate you and I would give anything for you to be the one that had died in an accident, not my dad. But as much as I would give for that, I'd still put myself in the car before you. You could deal this world, while I couldn't. You didn't care what heppened when you hit me. You didn't care how many bruises I had or how many broken bones there were. You didn't care that I took a blade across my skin. You didn't care about me. And the kids at school stopped caring when they noticed it on a constant. They knew it was normal for me and they stopped caring. They didn't know I would do this though. They didn't know that every rude and hateful word they said had been glued to my head. They didn't know that I'd believe them. And they sure as hell didn't know that I'd kill myself over it. So here's my good bye, asshole.

Dear Niall,

              I'm sorry. I know you didn't want anything to lead to this. I know you weren't trying to hurt me. But lying isn't the way to keep me safe. I do have strong feelings for you, and I did trust you with my life, but now I hope you see why I never trusted anyone before. I hoped and dreamed for maybe a relationship with you, but obviously that's out the window. I hope you understand why I'm doing this. Good bye Niall.

Dear Harry,

                Where do I begin? You gave me so much in a matter of years, but somehow it all went to waste. You left me and I couldn't control my actions when I had no one there to stop me from doing bad stuff. You were to only person who cared. You were the only one who knew that my mom caused the bruises and broken bones. You were the only one who knew exactly how my life played out, but it went to hell. You left me alone in a house with my mother. You left me alone to be beaten and I had no one to go to for reasurrance. It got too much for me and I decided to try something that I had read about. The article says that it releases endorphines, causing your stress to be gone and happiness to be felt. Little did I know that while I sat in my room slashing open my skin, that you were England, going big. I became addicted and I had cuts all over every part of my body. With every mistake I made, there was atleast 5 cuts to go along with it. When you showed up, I was so scared and when I found out about Niall, I just couldn't handle it. It was all so overwhelming. I'm sorry for doing this, I know you never wanted it. But who cares anymore? I know I don't. Good bye.

Dear Liam, 

                  I know I didn't know you for long. But I trusted you and you still have my trust, but I can't bear to go on any longer. I'll see you some day Liam. Good bye.

Dear whoever finds my body,

                    I'm sorry that you had to find me. And I'm sorry I'm like this, I just couldn't handle this world anymore. Please call the police when you find me, and be sure that they give the other people their letters. It would mean more than the world to me. Thank you so much for caring enough to do as I say (if you do that is) I couldn't ask for anymore than to know that everyone else in the world is happier without my existence. Good bye now, and thank you for finding me.

I dry my eyes as the tears fall freely down my face. Wiping at every tear that escapes. I don't knwo where Harry is, but who knows when he might come barging into the room. I put my journal full of suicide notes under my pillow, tucking myself further under the blankets.I pull out my phone and quickly put my ear buds in, listening to Say Something on repeat, putting me to sleep.

A/N

Sorry if it sucked. Haven't been feeling the best lately. bye.