Broken Trust

Chapter twenty-two

Chapter 22:

Niall's pov:

"How do you think she's handling this?" I ask.

"I'm not sure..." Liam responds.

"She's taking it well. I know her. She would never get mad at him or judge him for something she's done before," Harry says while looking off into the distance.

"Harry are you okay? You look like that wall is the most interesting thing in the world?" Louis asks.

No response.

"Harry, mate," I say.

He just turns to me with tears in his eyes. I know exactly what he's thinking..

"She's not gonna leave us Harry," I whisper.

"You don't understand Niall, she'll feel like she's getting in the way. She'll distance herself and not tell us stuff. She'll get a journal and write instead of physically talking to anyone. She did it after the night I found her mom beating her..." he said.

Everyone in the room had shocked expressions on their faces except me and Harry. Liam's face wasn't as shocked as Louis'.. But he was still shocked. 

"Harry, I know she will start to feel that way.. But, can we talk alone please?" I ask.

He nods his head and we leave into his room.

"As I was saying, she will do that, I know.. She told me everything. But we just need to be there with her as much as we can and always make her feel loved," I say.

He nods his head again.

"We need to keep her from running away Harry..."

Jessica's pov:

"Zayn?" I ask. I want to know more about him and his situations with selfharming..

"Yes love?"

"Um, can you tell me what your first experience with cutting was like?" I ask, looking down into his eyes. He pulls himself off his knees and takes his hands off of my scarred up body and sits on the bed, pulling me onto the bed, sitting me next to him.

We sat there for a minute before he said, "It was the most confusing moment of my life. I've never felt in so much pain but yet so relieved at the same time. I didn't cut that deep of course... I was scared of even doing it in the first place. But I did. I had read about it in books and seen it in movies. What i didn't know though, was that after my first time cutting I would enjoy that pain and then relief. I didn't know it hurt so much to open the skin on your body with blade. I didn't know I'd feel relief wash over me when I saw the blood pour out of each cut. I didn't know any of that..." he says.

I just look at him. I know I'm crying. i honestly don't care. He wipes the tears off my cheeks and stares into my eyes. We exchange something right there that I'm not quite sure how to explain what it was.. Something so strong, something that made us closer. 

"Tell me what it was like to almost hang yourself," he whispers.

And so I did.

Louis pov:

What the actual fuck. I did not know that Jessica had been beaten all her life, nor did I know that Harry had to witness it, nor did I know that Harry was apart of the beating. 

I look over at Liam who is looking down at his hands.

"Liam?"

"Yeah?"

"What did Jessica do deserve all this pain?"

Liam sat there for a minute, contemplating on how to answer this question.