04| GROUPCHAT

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chamber of secrets
( five participants )

BECKHAM'S SLUT
okay can i kill him?

FAIRCHILD
it's too early for that
let's wait for tonight

CALEBOOSE
count me in hoes

QUEENTIN
who the fuck are
you guys talking
about?

FAIRCHILD
lUkE gRoCeRy

CALEBOOSE
bracey but that works too

THE OTHER STAN
guys. . .
please don't start

BECKHAM'S SLUT
he hurt you ivy and if
sebastian didn't come
yesterday you wouldn't
come out of your cave
like at all also because
of him, you've locked
yourself for two fucking
weeks

CALEBOOSE
and if i'm not mistaken
he's dating your brother's
ex-girlfriend now

QUEENTIN
yikes the irony

QUEENTIN
now i'm up for planning
to murder that guy wHO
THE FUCK DOES HE
THINK HE IS

FAIRCHILD
my point exactly!

FAIRCHILD
you don't think he deserves to
live, don't you? he crushed your
dreams about marriage! god you
prepared everything for that and
then three months before you both
tied the knots he just dumped you
for no apparent reason

CALEBOOSE
though he's seven years older
than you, he has absolutely no
courage to admit that he is
having an affair behind your
back. jesus and you still think
i'll easily accept that?

QUEENTIN
he's literally a germ for males
population

QUEENTIN
he's older but thinks like a child

BECKHAM'S SLUT
one of the reasons i'd prefer
to date someone younger
because sometimes they're
the mature one

THE OTHER STAN
no one's killing anyone
okay? i'm starting to feel
much better because
sebastian's with me

FAIRCHILD
you expect us to
believe that?

THE OTHER STAN
just be fucking happy
for me. i'm FINE!

CALEBOOSE
lies

QUEENTIN
then give us one good
reason why you can't let
us, y'know, deal with him?

THE OTHER STAN
because. . .
i still love him

BECKHAM'S SLUT

BECKHAM'S SLUT

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