You told me for years that I was fat.
Even in the days I struggled to eat,
Even on the days it all came up.
The doctors told me I was emaciated
And all I heard was "do you finally think my body is perfect?"
No.
"Look in the mirror, what do you see?"
I see a shell that barely exists,
Running out of time,
Yet still a disappointment.
"Listen to your heart, what do you hear?"
I hear my stomach's panging whisper, yet your voice is shouting "you're not skinny enough."
"How are you feeling today?"
I'm hungry.
The hunger is so strong, it's screaming almost overwhelms the thoughts,
"You are fat."
"You will never be thin enough."
"You're body is disgusting."
It's been years since I heard that voice.
Yet today, you have the audacity to call me fat.
How dare you!
As if those 3 years of never-ending hunger and shame didn't matter,
As if you didn't care that it took 2 more to be okay again.
How dare you...
I've worked so hard
Only to be pushed back down by your mindlessness,
To be pushed down by your idiocracy.
I am drowning in this permanent cycle of
"Should I eat today?"
And, yet, you say to me,
"You're getting fat again."
