Jeffmads Oneshots

Ey Hubby

A/N You will not believe how long this took me to do. I haven't slept in like three days, jesus. 

Also hey, last chapter. Wow, I don't think I'm ready for this.

Little speech thing is gunna be its own chapter because holly cheese balls this is long. EXTREME FLUFF WARNING. ALSO I DON'T KNOW HOW MARRIAGES WORK SO DON'T BE ALL LIKE "Oh that's wrong," CUZ I FUCKING KNOW IT'S WRONG. Hope you enjoy!

Word count: Really fucking long.

P.S. I used Google Translator for French so correct me if I'm wrong. Also parents aren't going to be mentioned in this chapter because I don't do well talking about parents in any story.

P.S.S. Oh and I put up a cheesy song cuz I mean come on, this is a cheesy marriage so it's only fitting. (I fucking love Sleeping At Last) 

P.S.S.S. If you've read this far (always wanted to do this) comment "Sushi" and I'll love you almost as much as CurlyTop loves his NyQuil boy. 

I'm great with nicknames, shut up.

--------------Hairspray POV--------------

"Thomas, vous allez bien ." (You're fine.)

I sighed again, swallowing my spit as I ruffly ran my fingers through my hair for the twenty-fifth time. Today out of all days, my hair decided to be a bitch and not work with me. We had been through so much together, sixteen lovers, three cars, many jobs that have made me unemployed, I thought we had a mutual agreement that the world was shitty so we shouldn't be shitty. Guess not.

As I sighed dramatically once again, Lafayette sighed as well and pushed off the wall he had been occupying for the last fifteen minutes. He quickly patted down his now crumpled dark purple suit until it was straight again, then fixed his black tie.

He walked to where i was, glaring at the small mirror hanging against the wall and gently ran his hands through my hair. "Stay still. Laisse moi essayer quelque chose." (Let me try something)

After a few minutes of pulling and flinching, he finally stepped back and let me look at my reflection, "Is it to your liking, votre altesse?" (Your highness)

I chuckled at the nickname as i stared at the small mirror. My hair was pulled tightly into one of Lafayette's black scrunchies, but not so tight that a couple curly hairs fell against the side of my forehead delicately. I looked a lot like Lafayette, but damn I looked good.

I smiled at the man beside me, "You are a life saver, ami." (Friend)

He chuckled and put a hand on my shoulder, "I'm not a candy, Thomas. Now, do you want any advice before your grand jour?" (Big day)

"A pep talk would be lovely. But please, save the birds and the bee's for my children," I replied, already making myself comfy on a leather chair, trying not to think of how hard my hands were shaking.

Lafayette noticed this, but only gave me a small, sympathetic smile, "It will be alright, couveuse. You love this man, yes?" (Brooder)

I felt my face get hot, "Don't call me a brooder, and of course." 

"With all your heart?" he questioned, staring at me intently.

"With what's left of it," I replied sarcastically as Lafayette rolled his eyes.

"Assez bien. And you want to spend the rest of your life with him?" (Good enough)

"Well, yeah. Why else would I have asked?" I questioned him, not really understanding where this is going.