Jeffmads Oneshots

What's In The Closet? 2

A/N Here's another funny picture.

Word Count: 1134

Chapter: 3/5

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Tears fell faster and faster as I quickly made my way toward my bedroom closet, so many childhood memories were made in closets, it seemed only necessary that I made one final memory in one.

I tied the rope to the conveniently placed small ceiling and grabbed a chair from the kitchen. Stepping on it with wobbly feet, I placed the rope around my neck, and let out a sigh.

Whether of relief, or a normal sigh im not sure, but it felt better to breathe. I touched the rope around my neck with a trembling finger, feeling the roughness of it and wondering how long it would hurt.

My phone beeped from my pocket, a bright light coming from the screen in my pocket. I grabbed it out of my pocket and let out a choked sob.

James: Hey Tommy, I can't sleep. So don't freak out but I decided hey, why not just chill it with you since we're both awake! I know you haven't been able to sleep for a few days so I'll bring a video game to play, see you there!

I stood there looking at that text longer then I meant to, before I knew it, I saw the door to my closet open, light shining in and striking my tear stained face. James was standing in the doorway, tears flowing down his cheeks and my suicide note gripped in his hand.

For a moment we stood there looking at each other, tears coming from both our eyes as we tried thinking what to do next.

I, unfortunately, made my mind up quicker than him. With a chocked out sob and forced smile, I kicked the chair from under me.

----------------James POV----------------

"He's going to be okay, James. We just have to not lose hope."

Eliza squeezed my shoulder reassuringly but I could tell she was having a hard time believing that herself due to her shaking hands. Right when I found Thomas tied up, he jumped and I panicked. It took me so much longer than I thought just to cut the rope and watch his stiff body fall to the floor.

I called the gang and we drove to the hospital. Now we were waiting desperately for a doctor to come out and say that Thomas would be fine.

Lafayette was crying when he saw Thomas being carried into the car, he was still crying even now in Hercules lap. Hercules had his head buried in Lafayettes hair and their arms tightly around each other.

Eliza, Angelica, Theodosia, and Aaron were huddled together, all holding hands and murmuring softly. Peggy and Maria were seated close by them, Maria petting Peggy's shaking frame, kissing her forehead and murmuring soft words to try and calm her down. Hamilton was holding Lauren's hand, a shadow over his eyes as Lauren's rubbed his hand gently.

I was in the middle of all of them, staring blankly at the white tiles on the floor. I hadn't had a breakdown yet, the others knew that as well, I could feel their concerned eyes on me even now. I don't understand why I wasn't screaming at the doctors to let me see him or sobbing into someone's arms knowing I'd never see Thomas again. I was just empty. I wasn't feeling anything and that scared me the most.

I think an hour passed when a women in white silently walked up to the group, her eyes castes downward.

I already knew what she was going to say even before I heard Eliza give a small sob. The women looked at all of us with sympathetic eyes, "I'm so sorry. We did everything we could, it was just too late."

I felt tears leave my eyes and let out a chocked shout, then fell to the white floor I had been looking at for an hour, wondering how I could make Thomas feel better when we took him home and told him how much we loved him. How much I loved him.

I screamed and screamed and screamed, until my throat was sore and Hercules had me pressed tightly to his chest, Lafayette clinging to me, crying along with us. Maria's attempt to calm Peggy down was no more once she herself started crying and held a sobbing Peggy in her arms.

Eliza was crying softly as Angelica held her and gripped Lauren's other hand tightly, her lip quivering. Lauren's was squeezing Angelica's hand, his face buried into Hamilton's shoulder as Hamilton stroked Lauren's hair. He himself had his eyes tightly shut. Theodosia and Aaron were holding each other, both crying silently.

The nurse herself had tears in her eyes as she kept repeating, "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. " I didn't hear any of it. All I heard was Thomas's short sob, then kept seeing his body fall from the chair.

"I couldn't do anything!" I shouted in Hercules's shoulder, my mouth open as more sobs escaped, "I didn't fucking do anything!"

He said he'd always protect me.

"I'll always protect you, Jimmy. We're friends now. Besides, I'm hard to get rid of!"

He didn't care if I was always sick, or awkward.

"James, I don't give two shits if you get Ebola easier than everyone else. You're still my friend and I like all your awkward, weird parts."

He didn't care if I didn't like the things he liked.

"Hey its cool if you don't like my fashion sense, but can you at least enjoy macaroni and cheese with me? Trust me, this the reason I exist."

So why,

"Hey James! Wanna go see a movie? I finally got paid so now we can do something fun for once."

Why,

"Jimmy James! My boy, you like macaroni?"

Couldn't I save him?

"James, it's called Skyrim and it's better than any game on this planet."

He showed me I wasn't a complete disgrace. 

"Aw come on, you can do it!"

He showed me I deserved better things.

"You're a lot more important than you think, James. A lot more important."

So why the hell couldn't I do anything to help him?!

"Yeah, I'm just tired is all. I'll hang with you tomorrow!"

I couldn't do a fucking thing to make him know how much he actually mattered.

"No, I'm not really that special. Just another face in the crowd if you know what I mean. James, you're way more important."

I couldn't tell him how much he actually mattered to me.

"I don't know why, but whenever I talk to you, I don't feel as empty as I usually do. You make me feel different, James."

I couldn't save the man I loved. And now he's gone.

I'm so sorry Thomas.