Dear diary
I am in fear that I'll soon be unable to support myself. My relatives have been paying for everything, they are still under the impression that I am going to remarry.
I'm writing a letter soon to inform them that that is not the case, and that I will most likely remain unmarried for the rest of my days.
I know that this means that my family may turn on me, I've already disgraced my father, grandfather and great grandfather with my behavior in leaving my home and returning here, asking for financial support. Being a Duke's daughter has its advantages, but I fear that I have lost them all in just a moment.
I fear that I'm going mad, I keep dreaming about him... He's there for me, calm and comforting. He's telling me that everything will be alright, I'll be able to come back to him soon and we'll be a family again...
If my mother could see me know, what would she think of a miserable excuse for a daughter like me?
Adrienne de Lafayette
