Lovely Loser (Richie Tozier X Reader)

I Don't Care

((Trigger Warning! Self-harm is in this chapter. Please don't kill me ;-;))

The sun fluttered into your room which made you open your eyes. You yawned and started walking downstairs. Beverly was asleep on the couch and you checked the time. It was kind of early, it was about eight. You ate breakfast and heard knocking on your door. You checked to see who it was and you saw Beverly's aunt. You slowly opened the door. "Hey," You greeted her.

"Hello! You must be (Y/N)." She smiled at you. You smiled back.

"Beverly is on the couch." You said. Beverly's aunt nodded and tried to awake Beverly. It worked and Beverly's aunt seemed anxious.

"Come on Bev! Remember where we have to go? I completely forgot!" Beverly's aunt explained to Beverly. Her aunt seemed to be lying. Beverly sighed and left. Than you were alone in your house. Your parents weren't home often anymore so it was just you. You sighed and took a shower, brushed your teeth and hair, and changed into clothes. As you walked downstairs you decided to go outside and get the mail from the mailbox. You walked to the mailbox and opened it. Letters fell everywhere.

"Shit." You mumbled to yourself and picked everything up. You set it on the kitchen table and looked through the mail. Than you saw your name on an envelope. You opened it and it was a note. It was a comic. A comic you and Richie made. When you both met. You felt your eyes tear up and than roll down your cheeks. You slammed it onto the table and walked away from it. You plopped onto the couch and thought. Why was Beverly's aunt lying? Why the fuck did Richie send me this comic? You thought to yourself. Than it all came to you. Beverly called her aunt to come and pick her up. You didn't really care. Until your thoughts got darker. What if she hated you? What if the Losers hated you? What if your parents hated you? What if everyone hated you? You started crying again. You wanted someone to wrap their arms around you and tell you everything's okay. But nobody was there. Everybody was gone. You sat in silence. Waiting. You didn't know what you were waiting for but you were waiting.

((HERE'S THE SELF-HARM PART. SKIP TO THE ~~~ IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ IT!!))

You opened your eyes and realized you fell asleep on the couch. You sniffled and slowly walked into the kitchen. You remembered seeing your mom do this a couple of times. She had a sharp object and slid it across her arms. You rummaged through drawers but couldn't find the sharp object. You grabbed scissors instead and looked at them. You slowly rolled up your hoodie sleeve and inhaled deeply. You slowly set the scissors on your arm and pushed hard on the scissors and slowly slid the scissors across your arms. You winced in pain slightly but didn't care. The cut started bleeding. Only in some parts it bled. The line you cut was either light pink or bleeding. You set the scissors down and stared at the cut. It made you think less about your pain.

~~~~~~~~

You sighed and walked into your garage. You slowly hopped onto your bike and peddled off. You slowly rode into the park and noticed someone. Beverly. She was sitting on a bench. Her hands covered her face and muffled sobs escaped her mouth. You slowly walked over to her. You were shaking and just before you were about to put your hand on her shoulder you stopped. She left you. She was your only friend who stayed by your side. But she was gone. You clutched your hands into fists and huffed. You stomped off which alerted Beverly and she turned around. You heard her call your name, "(Y/N)!" Her voice was happy and relieved. You didn't turn around, you just stomped off to your bike. "(Y/N)? Can you hear me? Answer me." Beverly put her hand on your shoulder. You turned around instantly and saw her expression change. Beverly seemed startled.

"I can hear you." You answered. Your eyes stared into Beverly's eyes.

"Did you come up to me?" Beverly asked. Her voice was shaky and her arms were trembling. You glared at her.

"Yes. Yes, I did. But I didn't talk to you because you turned your back on me!" You hissed at her. Beverly tried to speak but the words wouldn't come out of her mouth.

"I-" Beverly was without delay interrupted.

"Why the hell did you not tell me about the meeting? What other secrets have you been keeping from me?" Tears welled up in your eyes as you finished your sentence. Beverly eyed you. She was speechless.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you-"

"I don't care. You did hurt me. You're just like Richie." You growled at Beverly.

"Wh-what do you consider Richie?" Beverly spoke shakily. She was looking at you in horror. Waiting for your response. You looked at her. Your eyes fixed on her's.

"Well, what do you think I consider him as?" You snapped. Beverly opened her mouth but shut it instantly, "That's what I thought." You turned around and grabbed your bike. You sat on the seat and felt someone grab your arm. You slowly looked over to see Beverly's face. Tears streamed down her face.

"(Y/N), please. Please forgive me... I-I'm sorry..." Beverly sniffed at the end of her sentence and wiped her eyes. You gripped the handlebars and thought for a moment. Your eyes turned into slits and Beverly let go of your arm. She stumbled backward but waited for an answer.

"I don't care if you're sorry or not. Did you not hear me before? I. DON'T. FUCKING. CARE!" You spat in her face. Tear-drops fell down Beverly's face as you finished your sentence. Her sad face formed into an angry expression.

"Fine! I don't need to help a useless bitch like you anyway!" Beverly snapped at you. She turned around and marched off. Mumbling words to herself. You didn't realize you were crying until you started riding your bike. You wiped the tears from your face.

"I don't need her." You said to yourself. Trying to make it true. But it wasn't.

(Author's Note)

oof. The self-harm part will NOT be mentioned more and more into the story and it won't be apart of the story. Sorry I added it into this chapter. I just needed to vent a little. So I took my anger out on you. Cause I'm just that fucking great. See ya later alligator.