I was in love with him but I thought I lost him. I thought I’ll never see him again. I thought I will never do it again.
To fall in love with him again.
It has been two weeks since I knew the name of the boy in the playground and I’ve fallen deeply in love with this guy. It’s funny why I don’t want to tell Mike about it yet, maybe because it’s also funny why Mike haven’t mentioned anything about his visit here 12 years ago or his meeting of girl when he was still 9 years old. I mean, seriously, couldn’t he see something in me? Don’t I remind him of someone special? I don’t want to be the one to tell him first because I don’t want to sound so desperate who still can’t move on from the past. But honestly, I want him to be the one to remember me and be the first one to tell me about what happened in the playground. So today, I decided to bring him to the playground where we first met as kids.
The playground looks older, rusty, and unsafe now but everything was still there: the two slides, the jungle gym, the seesaw under the big old tree, and of course, the swing set at the center of the playground.
“Do you know I still come here often?” I tell Mike as we both climb the hill towards the playground.
“Really? Aren’t you too old to play in the playground? And the play sets are all so rusty.”
“Yes, I know but I come here for inspiration. This is where I write most of my articles.” I reply and he smiles as he holds my hand. “This place is very nostalgic for me because when I was a child, I would like to come here alone and play in the swings. I brought you here for us to watch the sunset, it gave the best view.” I tell him and he smiles again.
“How did you know I love watching the sunset?” He says and gives me a peck on my cheek
“Lucky guess, I guess. I was hoping an artist like you would love the sunset since it is the most beautiful canvas painted on the sky.” I reply, hoping he would remember that he told me the same thing years ago.”
“And you’re right. I never thought you have a wonderful eye for art, Joney.”
We both sit on the swings, waiting for the sunset. I was hoping that he could have remembered about me by now. I need to take desperate measures.
“Mike, can you do something for me before you leave for Cebu?” Mike kept silent, waiting for me to continue. “Can you make a drawing of me here?” I finally ask him.
***
Just like before, I sat on the swing, trying not to move, while he sat on the end of the slide as he tried to draw me on his sketch pad. When the sun started to set, he stopped sketching and looked behind him, appreciating how beautiful the sunset was. After while, he showed me his work to ask me if it looked okay so far, I just told him to show me when it’s finish. I remember the first time he drew me and I felt my heart beat so fast and loud enough for young Mike to hear each beat. But honestly, it felt different now, I can’t explain how.
I didn’t expect him to finish sketching that fast, I forgot his older and that he is an expert now. He showed it to me and it looks very realistic, the pencil shadings have really captured the shadows of the subject. I actually really love it.
He decides to walk me home since it’s only two blocks away from the playground. I’m carrying the portrait he made for me; he said I could keep it. I keep silent while we walk, I feel confused. Still, he hasn’t mentioned anything about us from 12 years ago. Don’t tell me he had a car accident and got amnesia like how lame characters do in love telenovelas. No, maybe he just simply forgot about me, maybe I wasn’t that important to remember. I just have to face it, he doesn’t care about the lame one-week-vacation he had when he was nine. It’s time to forget about Mike, the young Mike, the boy in the playground.
We arrive at my house and he grabs my hand. “I had a great time with you today.” He tells me as he holds my hand and smile. Before I could respond, he pulls me closer and kisses me. I really like how it feels, you know, kissing him. The feeling, it’s familiar, making my heartbeat fast and loud.
After saying our goodbyes and before I could reach the doorknob of our front door, I remember what I was frustrated about. Anger finally caught up to me as I try to stop Mike from leaving.
“Don’t you remember me, Mike?” I yell at him. Mike stopped walking and turned, his face shows complete confusion. “You forgot about me while I kept thinking about you.”
“What are you talking about?” He asks and this makes me angrier.
“I was the girl you met 12 years ago, I was the girl you drew 12 years ago, I was the girl in the playground from 12 years ago, and you were the boy I’ve fallen for 12 years ago.” I yell back, I feel my warm salty tears running down my cheeks. Mike walks closer to me and wiped my tears with his thumb.
“Joney,” he whispers, “this is my first time here in the city, I didn’t come here when I was a child. I haven’t met anyone in any playground and I’ve never drawn anyone when I was young. I’m not the boy you’re talking about; I’m not the boy you’re looking for.” His voice so calm, still caressing my cheek with his thumb.
“So this means,” I whisper.
“That what?” He asks with still a calm voice.
“That I have fallen for the wrong guy.” I stop his hand from holding my cheek. He keeps silent, thinking what to respond. I give him back the portrait he made and I head back to the door. I close the door behind me with nothing else said. I don’t even care where he got that drawing of me when I was eight.
I just don’t care about anything anymore.
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A/N: I'm making the main character as hateable as possible.
Thanks for reading. I'll be posting a new chapter every weekend. Hope you'll also be able to read the coming chapters.
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Coming soon: Chapter 5 - "The girl in the playground"
