The Run

184

"How long have you known?"

His voice is hard, his tone feels urgent. He is actually relieved that she was awake when he stepped inside, but the only fact that he avoided the awkward situation of having to wake her up doesn't change the issues he's facing now. Not one bit. He still feels trapped and frantically paces the room as she sits on the edge of the bed.

"Since the beginning," she starts, but he cuts her off immediately.

"How?"

"I-I'm not sure. I pay attention, I guess-"

"Does anyone else know?"

"I don't fucking know, man! Will you stop interrupting-"

"No. Deal with it."

She opens her mouth instantly to retort but instead lets out a deep sigh, defeated. She watches him walk around the room like a caged lion, gauging his attitude as if trying to decipher if he'll let her speak this time, but he looks lost in thought, absorbed by whatever is going on in his head. 

"I guess," she tries. He doesn't flinch, keeps pacing around, an invitation for her to continue. "I guess I'm just like those guys in the shop earlier. I've recognized you because I used to love your b-"

"Don't."

-and. The end of the word gets stuck in her throat as Joshua stops dead before letting himself plop down onto a chair in the corner of the room. Running both hands through his long black hair, he sighs deeply. Hopelessly. She almost feels sad for him. She stands, slowly making her way to him even though she's pretty sure he will push her away again. She manages to get close enough before she drops to her knees, sitting on her heels. She raises a hand, hesitates, then sets it on his shoulder. He flinches, but only slightly, and surprisingly leans into her touch. 

"What, or who are you running away from, Josh?" She dares to ask, cutting through the silence. She doesn't think he will answer, but once again he surprises her.

"Everything. Everyone."

It is not much, but it is enough for her, at least for now. "I-I won't tell, you know," she whispers, her hand still on his shoulder. "If that's what you want, I won't tell anyone. And obviously, that's what you want. So I'll keep this to myself. I promise you. And I never break promises, you can believe me. I've never-"

"Do you ever shut up?" he asks, but he's definitely not as rude as before, it shows in his eyes, and a smile creeps on her face as she chuckles a little "no" that spreads around her, warming the room. 

Joshua sighs again, but it's a weird kind of sigh. Something is pulling at his insides, something he hasn't felt in a while but he can't really tell what it is. So many questions are still running through his head, but he looks at her, on her knees, hands on her thighs, and suddenly he doesn't feel like talking at all. Listening seems okay. 

Yet, he fights the urge to just sit there and hear her constant blabbering. He needs to set down the rules. Nervousness gains his body once again and he has to stand up. She stays there, on her knees as he paces around the room again. 

"Listen," he says, the words now flowing out of his mouth, "I know I said you needed to leave, but I can't- you can't- I mean of course you can, I won't keep you tied up in here, I'm not that crazy. But I don't... want you... to go. I can't let you. And you wanted to stay, right? So, like, you can stay. You have to stay. Please don't go?"

He's stopped walking now, and his eyebrows are raised questioningly as he looks down at her. His features look childish and she feels the urge to stand up and hug him, but knows that's going a step too far for now. He won't accept it. So, instead, she raises to her feet and takes his previous place on the chair.

"I have conditions," she states, crossing her legs. "Where are we going?"

He shrugs, sitting down on the edge of the bed. Joshua realizes, with frustration, that they have exchanged places now. She will make the rule, and he will have to agree if he doesn't want to lose the security of having her by his side.

"I can choose where we're going, then?"

"If you have to."

"Good. Can I drive sometimes?"

"I- What?" She has such insignificant demands, it seems unreal. "Okay."

"Nice! How long is this gonna be? You can't keep me forever. I'm guessing you have a plan? Something to do, somewhere to go at some point?"

"Y-yeah." He is surprised. Almost speechless. She does pay attention a lot, and understands him even through his silence.

"How long?"

"Six months?"

She raises an eyebrow, considering his offer, before nodding in agreement. "One more thing now: I want us to talk. With sincerity. No lies. And you will allow my questions to be asked and answered."

"What do you mean?"

"I want to know your story. Not right away. In your own time. But I want to know."

"You have secrets too."

"And I will share them with sincerity if you do, too. No lies?"

He hesitates. He wants to say no, never. He doesn't want to share his story. He doesn't want anyone to know. But he's cornered. He really has no other choice, does he? And he won't be there in six months anyway, to see the story plastered in the magazines. The only thing that bothers him is.... No. He can't think about them now. "No lies," he grunts, even though he's already thinking about ways to avoid this.

"Good. And finally... Why don't you want me to leave when just a few hours ago you wanted me gone? You don't trust me, do you?"

He looks up at her. She's scanning his face with her green eyes and he feels naked. Vulnerable. He hasn't felt that in a while either. But he has to cope. He has to learn to live with it. Live with her. He wants to end things well, and that's his only choice. He opens his mouth, but she speaks before he can.

"And remember, no lies."

He clenches his teeth. What sorcery lives in that tiny body? He doesn't know, and doesn't want to know. All he wants is to reach the end of the plan, so if he has to bite his own tongue in order for this to work, he will. And he will bite hard. 

"I don't trust you," he simply says. 

"I'll make you trust me, then," she grins. 

Good luck on that, he thinks. 

|-/

Hey frens! This took so long once again, but I've just been so busy with work and travels that I haven't had a free weekend for what feels like years. I'm taking time out of a sick day to get you this update, so apologies if it's not the best thing I've ever written. I still hope you like the story so far. 

In other news, I've finally created an Instagram account - OhMyEmmah.Writes if you want to follow me on there! I'll try and share exclusives or snippets of what I'm working on ahead of posting full chapters! 

I've also decided on working on a sequel of one of my other stories (guess which one?) but I won't publish anything because the new year because I know myself and I know how busy I'm going to be until at least end of April... But I'll try to get something out before that to shorten the wait! ♥