The Run

178

Mississippi.

The man drives again. The road is almost deserted. There is no sound, except for the lull of the tires against the asphalt and the wind seeping through an open window. It's calm, almost soothing, and Joshua enjoys the silence as much as he can because he knows it's not going to last. Well, enjoy is not the word he would use, because most of the time, he wishes he could turn back time, forget about all this, and start living again. So, no, enjoy doesn't quite depict his feeling as he paces through yet another state, but at least he doesn't despise it like he used to. At least, he embraces it, because now he knows, he understands the importance of it, and he bathes in his thoughts so he doesn't forget the reason behind this road trip.

He hears a sigh on his right, somewhere on the passenger seat, but Joshua pays no mind. He's deep in thought, relentlessly repeating the plan to his brain, making sure it makes as much sense as he pretends it does. What is it now? One hundred and seventy-nine? Seventy-eight maybe? Shit, he's lost count. He will have to go through his notes as soon as he reaches a place for the night. It's not that much anyway. He's more than halfway there. He can be patient until then, and if he can't, if he really can't, well...

Another sigh seeps through the person next to him, and Joshua can't help but peer at her from the corner of his eyes. He's irritated now. If it wasn't for her constant sighing, he would have almost forgotten her presence. But she's there, and he has to deal with it. She has her feet on the dashboard again. No shoes on, but still. It's annoying. And unsafe. Joshua would almost suddenly brake so that her nose would meet her knees and she'd understand. But what does he care, anyway? She's just a passenger. A parasite he can't, and won't, get rid of.

"What?" she asks.

"What, what?" he shrugs.

"I saw you looking at me."

"When?"

"Just now."

Joshua doesn't say anything, so she continues. "Don't play dumb."

"Don't play dumb either. You know why I looked at you."

"Do I now? Is it because of my feet on the dashboard? Is it because I sigh too much? Or is it just because I'm there and you don't want me here?"

"Wow, are you on your p-"

"Don't even say what I think you're gonna-"

"-eriod or something?"

Emmie's mouth opens in a perfect O shape as she turns sideways to stare at him. Again, he peers at her from the corner of his eye. She's in a fury, he can see it as clear as day, and Joshua feels a little pang in his stomach, and something pulling at his cheeks. Does he want to smile? Maybe. It feels weird anyway, so he frowns instead. She still hasn't said anything more, which is strange, so this time, he is the one to utter the word "what", and it's all it takes.

"Well, I'll tell you what, Joshua. Welcome to my Ted Talk, where I will explain to you in detail how unacceptable it is for anyone, and especially for a man, or a person who doesn't experience menstruations, to ask a woman, or a person experiencing menstruations, if she is on her period! Let's start with..."

And she goes on. And it's interesting, and it all makes sense, really. She's very articulate and intelligent, and makes her point, but really, Josh doesn't need all that. He's quite educated on the subject, what with his two sisters and his mother, all feminists at heart.

Talking about heart, his skips a couple beats at once. Why did he have to think about them? This isn't what he meant. He just wanted to get a rise out of her, so at least she would stop sighing and now his hands are gripping the steering wheel harder and he can feel his breath start to pace up and this is not, this is really not what he had planned.

"... and our emotions or views on a situation should not be discredited, under any circumstances, just by the fact that we are women and might be on our period. Is that clear?"

Only then, Emmie turns her head again towards Joshua and notices how hard he breathes and how strongly he holds onto the wheel and she knows something is wrong. But she doesn't panic. Calmly, she asks if he's ok, even though she can clearly see he's not. But at least he's sincere. No lies. He shakes his head, breathing faster and faster, blinking away angry tears that shouldn't even be there in the first place. He hates that. He hates her. He hates himself more than anything.

"All right, just... You're just going to pull over gently, all right?"

Her voice is softer now, and the confident and enthusiastic Ted Talker has given place to a gentle and caring person. Joshua feels her hand on his shoulder as he slowly turns the wheel and lifts his foot off the gas pedal. She keeps giving him words of encouragement until they're safely out of the road. She tells him to breathe deeply, helps him count. Inhale. One. Two. Exhale. One. Two. Three. Four. Only when he calmed down enough does he exit the car and take a few steps, crouching to let it all out.

She gives him some space, enough time for him to dry his tears, then joins him, sitting next to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to trigger something."

He shrugs. She couldn't know. Hell, he didn't even know. It's not her fault, he thinks. But he doesn't say it. "My sisters would have liked you", he tells her instead, and although he doesn't peer at her from the corner of his eye this time, he hopes it makes her smile.

|-/

I'm back again! Well, I never left, but you know. I've been quiet. And I've been working hard, also. My original story, Heartbreak Tunes, is well underway (a first chapter is already published by the way, if you want to check it out, it's on my profile, please check it out!). This story here is almost 100% planned and I know where it's all going, and finally, I've started working on a sequel to Empathy which I know some people are excited about! Are you? I am!

Thank you for still reading although I've been very inactive. But I promise I have a lot in store for you so please, hang in there, it'll be worth it! Please leave a comment if you want to, you have no idea how encouraging any of your words are!