Feel It All (Edvy + Royed)

Humanoid

''I'm done with systems,

I'm done with reasons.

I'm done with questions,

I'm done with healing.

Done with bleeding,

I'm done!...''

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''Getting a change of heart, snake?~'' Envy recalled what Archer said to him as he walked off, making him scowl in confusion opening the door to see Edward sitting on the couch drawing quietly listening to music singing softly, making the palm haired male pause in his steps a bit surprised since he never heard the blond sing anymore. ''Bake me, eat me, throw me up... Buy me, touch me I'm a fuck up... Entertain me, carve me up... Penetrate my heart...'' Edward's voice sang reminding Envy at how good Edward sang hearing the depressing tone in his voice and lyrics, seeing a tired pained expression in his golden tired eyes, making the palm haired male realize how little the blond thought about himself. ''...'' Envy stood quiet unable to say anything, but got curious when the blond stopped sketching walking by to see it was a sketch of the raven haired male holding his tabby cat with a kind smile, aching him a bit but sighed glancing over to see Edward's cat sitting next to him keeping him company, walking off to the kitchen with the tabby looking at him. ''Harlequin?... What's got your attention?'' Edward asked stopping his singing and pulling a ear piece off when seeing his tabby's golden eyes look up past him, but back to him making Edward tilt his head in confusion, putting the sketchbook down on the table to follow after the tabby who got up and ran off to the kitchen suddenly. ''Harlequin, what has gotten into you-?! E-Envy!?...'' Edward started but stopped when seeing Envy was leaned against the kitchen counter with a sigh, immediately grabbing the meowing tabby into his arms backing up with a flinch and panicked expression in his tired golden eyes, seeing Envy look at him with a raised questionable expression in his amethyst eyes.

''...I haven't even said anything yet...'' Envy said almost tiredly glancing away pulling the bandage off his bruised cheek to give it air, making Edward go quiet when the palm haired male reached for the large bag of chocolate covered expresso beans, making Edward make a face but still hesitate to say something, seeing Envy look at him almost surprised. ''...You got something to say?...'' Envy questioned, ''I-I... N-No... I-I mean y-yes, b-but...'' Edward stammered looking down as he always did, ''Well?...'', ''I-I... Just wanted to say, maybe you s-should eat some actual food b-before eating those, t-that's all...'' The blond stammered nervously when feeling Envy's intense amethyst eyes on him, but heard him sigh. ''...Even after what I did to you, you still worry over me?...'' Envy muttered under his breath looking to the blond again, ''I'm not really hungry... Kind of lost my appetite earlier... I mean... You don't exactly eat either.'', ''I-I can make something... O-Only if you want me to that i-is...'' Edward stuttered nervously since Envy was unpredictable with his anger. ''Pass.'', ''H-Huh?...'', ''I'll pass...'' Envy said again seeing the blond look at him surprised, ''Here... I think you need these more than me. You can eat these while you draw, at least have a little something in your system...'' He said placing the bag of expresso beans on the table, seeing Edward flinch away from him not surprising him. ''...Pipsqueak... Have you thought of ever... Never mind...'' Envy started but stopped himself again walking of to their room, feeling Edward grab his wrist suddenly and nervously, ''...J-Just... At least before you go, tell me why you did that to Harlequin knowing how much she means to me...'' Edward asked almost quietly afraid of the quiet male but didn't let go.

''...I shouldn't have done that... I'm... Sorry... Same goes for your medication and money...'' Envy said pulling his wrist away never making eye contact with the blond, feeling Edward grab his wrist again, ''What?!...'', ''P-Please... J-Just stay with me for a bit... I know you better, and I know you didn't mean any of that or... That...'' Edward said going quiet. The palm haired male knew the blond was talking about the forced sex and slap across the face a few days back, making him go quiet glancing over to the beaten marked up male in front of him, ''...Did you spend the night with him?'', Envy asked looking at the single dark hickey on the nape of the blond's neck, seeing Edward's golden eyes widen and glance down away from him. ''Well h-he found Harlequin, and Roy...'', ''So he took you with him... Of course...'' Envy said with a sigh, ''I-I know I-I know I shouldn't spend the night with someone u-unless they pay me to, b-but I-I just couldn't help myself to s-service him as kind of a thank you, y-you know?...'' Edward stuttered tensing up when Envy spoke again grabbing his face suddenly but gently. ''Stop stuttering for five god damn seconds...'' Envy said seeing Edward get anxious, ''I-I... I-I'm sorry...'' Edward stammered making the palm haired male sigh letting go of the blond's face with a regretful sigh, ''...I'll let you sleep in the room with your cat, and I'll start sleeping in the living room, it's for the better...'' Envy said walking off again till grabbed his arm pulling him. ''N-No!... Why are you being like this... Is it because of Roy!... I-I didn't mean to do anything with him, it's j-just that...'', ''He's nice?...'' Envy asked with a different expression in his usually cold eyes surprising Edward, ''...'', ''Tell me... Do you know how affection works?'' Envy asked suddenly making the blond get anxious, forcing a pained smile.







''...You do as the other person says, and keep them satisfied...'' He answered making the palm haired male make a face, ''...I really fucked him up... He doesn't even know how to thank Roy properly... All he knows is sex work and favors, I can't do this anymore, I need to apologize to Roy and try and fix things...'' He thought feeling Edward hug him suddenly but anxiously. ''Let go of me...'' Envy said trying to keep a serious tone looking down to the shaky blond, ''No... Stay with me...'' He heard Edward say in defiance making him frown, ''Stop forcing yourself to do these things.'', ''I-I'm not...'', ''Yes you are, now I'll say it again... Let. Me. Go.'' Envy said again with an even stern tone seeing Edward still wouldn't budge. ''Are you having trouble understanding me? Let go of me-'', ''I SAID I WON'T AND I WON'T!... JUST STAY WITH ME!... I know you... You have a soft side, So please... Just... stay with me... I'm begging you!...'' Edward screamed cutting off the other, pausing with a choked sob looking up to the surprised palm haired male who made a face at a loss for words, ''...Pipsqueak...''. ''...I-I... I'm just so tired of f-feeling like this... It hurts... I can't even go outside without feeling scared for my life, especially knowing he's back!... I-It scares me... But it scares me even more when I see Roy and he's so nice!... No one is ever nice to me unless they want something from me!...'' He continued letting go of the other with a choked sob. ''I-I... This is all too much for me... My heart can't... Do this... My body can't take it anymore... I just... I know I'm a waste a space, because you always tell me that I am... A waste of space horny cry baby, who's only a pretty face, nothing more!...'' The blond started backing up with a familiar anxious expression, making Envy realize he was getting an anxiety attack.