One Last Time [Vauseman Fanfic]

3: Your Ghost

It had already been one week since Piper was dragged into SHU. Alex was almost mad with worry. She did her best to distract herself with work but the presence of Leanne always there nagged at her every second of the day. There was no escape from her. Leanne's smug smile whenever she saw Alex was near driving her mad and it was all she could do to think that it would help no one if Alex got thrown into the SHU too. That Sunday Alex was in the rec room, beating Nicky somewhat half-heartedly at scrabble.
"Oh, give me a break I swear the only thing I ever get is goddamn vowels!" Nicky growled as she stared down at her letters. When Alex didn't respond she looked up at her and sighed. "Damn it Vause, she'll be okay. Piper's tough as nails."
Alex smiled, appreciating Nicky's attempt to comfort her but she knew that Piper wasn't tough, Piper wasn't a strong person – not in the way she needed to be to survive SHU.

"I'm so glad college got thrown in SHU. She coulda' killed me; I always said them lesbians was crazy…" An all too familiar voice droned on.
The rec room got very quiet then; it was easy to say that Litchfield had been dreading the day that Pennsatucky got out of the infirmary and back into the prison. There was an internal groan as Pennsatucky and her faithful group of followers piled into the rec room and took up most of the space. Alex saw Nicky watching her carefully, as much as Alex pretended that she couldn't give two shits about Piper Chapman everyone knew that she was just trying to bullshit them and herself.
"Nicky, put your fucking letters down already." Alex muttered, doing her best to drown out Pennsatucky as she continued to slander Piper. Nicky put down each letter on the scrabble board very slowly, as if she was contemplating what each letter meant to her.
"I think it's safe to say I've lost this game, let's just go back to your bunk Vause." She said after a moment, discarding the rest of her letters onto the table.
Alex sighed, "No, I want to play." She replied, putting down her own letters.
Nicky looked warily from Alex to Pennsatucky and then back again before picking up her letters and trying to form a new word.
"If she had just accepted God's LOVE then NONE of this woulda' happened!" Pennsatucky was almost shouting now and Alex could feel her eyes bore into her skull. Alex shook her head, refusing to give Pennsatucky what she wanted.
"Of course, then nobody woulda' seen her for what she is… A stoopid, lesbian, whore!" Pennsatucky continued, "You see! GOD TOLD ME! What she really was… And I saw for myself the Devil that is PIPER CHAPMAN!" Pennsatucky had gone into full preach mode now and Alex couldn't take it anymore. She stood up suddenly causing her chair to slide back and fall behind her and she turned venomously to Pennsatucky. She saw her smile, showing off a great row of brand new pearly white teeth.
"You hate her…" Alex began voice cold and devoid of emotion. "I get it. No really, I do. She's pretentious, thinks she's too good for some people. Throws a fit when she doesn't get what she wants and doesn't give a rat's ass about anyone but herself. Sure, I can see why you hate, loathe and despise her. But I swear to God, yours and mine, that if you do not shut the fuck up about her right now…" Alex paused, giving Pennsatucky a cold and dark stare. "I will finish off what she started and your nice new teeth there? Well they'll look as bad as your face did when Piper punched your previous ones out." Alex stood strong, not breaking eye contact with Pennsatucky; she couldn't afford to look weak. She didn't want Piper to have such power over her anymore, that people like Pennsatucky could constantly use it against her like this. Alex would not let them win. Not again.

Alex stared Pennsatucky down until she and her gang left the rec room and once they were out of sight Alex stalked out, heading towards the track.

Alex slowed down as she got closer to the track and she sat down against a tree that stood facing it. She sighed and ran her hands through her hair before pushing up her glasses onto the top of her head. She briefly wondered how she had got into such a mess before she reminded herself that it was her own fault she was here. It was her who allowed herself to get dragged into the criminal lifestyle and while it was good, oh god it was good, she wasn't sure it was worth losing the one thing she loved more than anything over. The drugs had been a good escape for a while but it was their fault in the end that she got caught. She had already heard that a few others high up in the ring had been arrested and she knew better than to stay where she was but she couldn't get away from the drugs. It was a mere miracle that Robert had found her when he did... One of her most prized gay mules had saved her from the very thing that she thought gave her the freedom she had always craved and yet it had been one of the things that imprisoned her in the end. She could almost laugh at the irony. Alex shook her head; she didn't want to linger on the thoughts of those dark days. Alex let her head lull back against the tree and she enjoyed the warmth of the sun on her face and as she closed her eyes she almost believed that she was still free.