One Last Time [Vauseman Fanfic]

20: Fangs

Perfectly able to hold my own hand,
But I still can't kiss my own neck.
I wanted to give you everything,
But I still stand in awe of superficial things.

Alex stood still, holding onto Piper tightly. She took a deep breath before pulling away slightly so she could look into Piper's face. "Why do you always run away?" She asked quietly.

Piper stared at Alex silently, emotions playing on her face. "I was scared Alex." She mumbled eventually.

Alex shook her head, "So that means you always have to leave?" She retorted a little sourly.

Understanding flashed across Piper's face and the blonde reached up to cup Alex's face in her hands. "I stand by my decision to leave, Alex."

Alex pulled away from Piper but not enough that she would lose contact with her and shook her head again. "Don't you think you could have at least waited a little longer before you did go though?" Alex asked, she had known that she would have to rehash the past with Piper at some point and she wouldn't be able to let it go until she understood why Piper had chosen that moment to leave her.

Piper sighed quietly and dropped her eyes to where Alex's hands still lay on her waist. "I was scared Alex, I was scared that you would get caught or that I was just going to become another one of your drug mules but what scared me most was that I would have done it eventually because I love you so fucking much that I would have done it because it meant I got to be with you just that little bit longer and that was so much better than the alternative. So yes, I stand by leaving and whilst my timing was so fucking bad I knew that I had to follow through with my decision, because if I didn't I know I wouldn't have been able to leave if I didn't go right then, in that moment. I couldn't live, I couldn't survive, on that fear anymore, Alex." Piper's eyes travelled back up to Alex's. The emotion and honesty were as clear as day in both her words and the sad expression she wore on her face.

"I would have given you the world, Pipes." Alex mumbled, her voice hoarse.

"I didn't want the world, Alex. I wanted you." Piper responded softly, once again caressing Alex's cheek.

Alex nodded once. "So you left."

"So I left." Piper repeated. "But you know what? I would still do it. I would still carry drugs around the world if it meant I got even a second longer with you."

Alex gave a small smile and bent her head down to meet Piper's lips in a small and gentle kiss. "I love you Piper Chapman."

Piper kissed her again and smiled. "I love you too."

"So tell me what he did to you in there."

Piper's whole body went rigid and she tried to tug herself away from Alex but Alex held onto her tightly. "No Piper, you are not fucking running away from this again."

Piper's jaw clenched. "He just knocked me around a bit, not as bad as last time."

Alex nodded stiffly and released Piper. "I have to go to work," She lied easily. "Go and get some rest."

Piper looked at Alex warily. "Please promise me you'll just leave it Alex. Don't do anything stupid."

Alex smiled at Piper the best she could, "When do I ever do anything stupid Pipes?" She sauntered off towards the laundry room and once she was in the safe confines of the damp and dull room she kicked the nearest machine as hard as she could. "God fucking damn it!" She glared at Pennsatucky and Leanne who were looking smugly at her from across the room but made no move to go near them, she didn't care about them anymore. She needed to tear out the root of the problem and watch it as it burned. "Better watch your fat ass Healy." She muttered, picking up the nearest shirt to her and beginning to fold it.