One Last Time [Vauseman Fanfic]

16: Dare To Let Go

Stare into the flame,
Until you see beyond the light.
All the while, truth was mine,
It's with myself, I fight.

When Alex woke up again, she was surprised to see Piper still sitting there dutifully, her hand resting on Alex's hip. Alex sniffed and sat up, causing Piper to look at her. She smiled tentatively.

"Hey Pipes."

"Alex."

Alex nodded and shuffled around on the bed so that she could lean into Piper, needing to feel her embrace. Once she was nestled safely in her arms, Alex looked up and planted multiple kisses on the underside of Piper's jaw, her hand snaking around the blonde's waist. When Piper pulled away Alex groaned in frustration and was fully prepared to pout when she saw Piper's face.

"What are you doing?" Piper asked sternly.

"What does it look like?" Alex retorted, crossing her arms.

Piper laughed, "Oh no. You do not get to ignore me and then suddenly expect everything to be okay just because I'm here when you wake up."

"Why shouldn't it be okay?" Alex asked, stubbornly.

"Because we do not currently have a functioning relationship, Alex!" Piper huffed, exasperated. "One minute it's like you're not even here, the next you're just some cold, unfeeling thing sitting on your bunk all day and now you're just acting all normal! It's fucking weird, Alex."

Alex arched a brow at Piper, "Thing huh? That's a new one." She muttered before sighing and running a hand through her tangled hair. "I'm just trying to deal, okay."

Piper shook her head and looked sadly at Alex. "Yeah well, we're meant to deal with this together." Piper paused for a moment, looking down at her hands. "I thought we were a team."

Alex stared at Piper, her own words hitting her like a slap in the face. She had said those very same words to Piper that day in Paris but that... that was a totally different circumstance, a very painful one at that. She wasn't able to conjure up a response that made sense of the hurt and guilt that Piper's words caused. "Piper, I.."

"Save it, Alex. I get it. You're just trying to be strong, as usual."

Alex stood up abruptly, shaking her head furiously at Piper who still wasn't looking at her. "No. No. You do not get to do this to me. You do not get to make me feel guilty about this, I am doing my best Piper and my best isn't good - I fucking know. You have absolutely no clue about what's been going on in my head, why I've been the way I am so do not try and turn this on me."

It was Piper's turn to get angry and the blonde stood up to look Alex directly in the eye. "You're right," She hissed. "I don't know because you don't fucking talk to me Alex. Somehow you think that just because you are a normal, functioning and feeling human being that makes you weak! What the fuck kind of logic is that, huh? So if you're so desperate to show just how much I don't know, why don't you fucking tell me what I've been missing out on?"

Alex swallowed, looking away from Piper's eyes. Of course Alex hadn't told her, how could she? "It's not that easy, Piper."

"When is it ever fucking easy with me or you, Alex? Try again."

Alex sighed and slumped back down onto her bunk, defeated. She was aware of the eerie silence their argument had caused but chose to ignore it for now. "Why don't you just go read the letters again, Piper? Seeing as you were so desperate to look before."

Piper flinched, and sat down next to Alex. "I'm sorry about that Alex. I-I wasn't thinking straight. Nicky told me it was fucked up."

"Didn't stop either of you though, did it?"