I'm Scared

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I drove back to my house in my ugly white car. My hands were shaking and my head was throbbing. What was I supposed to do? I don't want to kill a baby, especially my own. I can't do that. If anything, I would die for this baby to be alive, even if I'm only sixteen. 

"I can't breathe," I whispered, rolling down the window, taking deep breaths. My vision started to get blurry so I pulled over as fast as I could and leaned my head against the steering wheel. 

"What have I done.." I mumbled, closing my eyes. The radio was playing some sad music today. Probably because everyone is disappointed in me. It's all my fault anyways. 

Once I calmed down a bit, I pulled onto the road once again and stopped in front of my house. What will my mom think? What will dad think? What would Xander think..? I finally let out a sob and cried into my hands. 

I can't tell Xander. I can't tell anyone. I think they will know when you become a huge whale. Shit, I guess I got to tell someone. Maybe Cami? 

I walked inside the house as quietly as I could. I did not want to talk to my mom when I have this huge secret. 

My room was only upstairs, let's see if I can make it without any questions. I ran up the stairs and into my room, accidentally slamming it behind me. I hopped into my bed and laid there, looking at the ceiling in complete silence. 

I felt my phone buzzing and so I picked it up. Who the fuck is this? 

"Hello?" I answered. "May I ask who this is?" 

"Want a second round?" a deep voice asked on the call. 

"Who the hell is this?" I asked annoyed now. I'm pregnant for gods sake. Leave me the hell alone. 

"Aw, I'm kind of hurt you forgot about me already, little one," the boy on the other end spoke. 

"Crawford, what do you want?" I groaned. My heart was beating so fast that I think he can hear it. 

"Ouch, just wanted to know if you wanted a round two," he answered, "so do you?"

"No, but I want to know how you got my number," I pointed out. 

"Oh..yeah, a friend gave it to me," he said. 

"Which friend?" 

"A friend."

"Which one."

"Just someone I know." 

"You suck," I groaned. 

"Says you," he laughed. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, slightly confused.

"Don't act dumb, little one," he joked.

"Ew, you're nasty," I rolled my eyes. "Please tell me you didn't actually call for that reason though."

"Well, I better go ask Alyssa instead then, after all she is good in bed," he remarked. 

"Whatever," I hung up the phone and placed it on my nightstand. I laid in my comfy bed for a couple hours before Hailee came bursting through the door. 

"HE LIKES ME!" She yelled, dancing around my room. 

"Who?" 

"Kale." 

"Cami's brother?" I questioned. She nodded and grinned. Cami has a little brother Hailee's age and they are close, but I always thought they liked each other as brother and sister. I guess I was wrong. 

"Fun," I close my eyes and try to relax. 

"Are you okay?" she asks, sitting down on my bed. I shake my head and I begin to cry. 

"I'm sorry Hailee," I cried. "Please don't be like me.." 

"What happened Myra?" Hailee asked, hugging me tightly. "I'm here for you no matter what." 

"I-I'm pregnant, Hails," I sob into her arms. 

"You're what?!" she exclaimed, letting go of me. I wipe my tears and look her in the eyes. 

"I'm pregnant." 

"What are you going to do?" 

I shrug and look around, "I'm not sure Hails." 

"Are you going to keep it?" she asks. I look at her and nod. 

"I can't kill the baby growing inside of me..it's innocent, it hasn't made a mistake. It did nothing wrong. I did."

Hailee and I sit there and talk for a bit until I'm calmer. 

"I'm scared." 

"I am too M, but you'll be fine." 

~~~

okay, well she finally told someone. I guess it was her sister before her friend lmao. Xander's a hoe. 

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