Aspects of Hope

// chapter ten //

"Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind, and therefore is winged Cupid painted blind." - William Shakespeare

Chapter 10

SHIELD Helicarrier, 2012

Shay

It was hours after I had retrieved Charity from Loki's hideaway. I was currently trying to talk through Steve's walls, doing my best to comfort him. Charity's confession of her love of Loki really took a toll on Steve. I couldn't seem to console him at all.

"Steve," I whispered, rubbing his shoulder as he stared silently, "are you okay?"

He glanced at me. His blue eyes ran over my small frame, a sigh slipping past his lips. He held his head in his hands, muttering incoherent words under his breath. He then looked up straight at me, his eyes focusing on my hair.

"Why is your hair black?" he asked, reaching up to touch my single black strand. I jerked my head the other way, afraid of what could possibly happen if he provoked me.

"No reason," I deadpanned, staring wide-eyed at my boot-clad feet.

I felt Steve shift beside me until he settled, facing me with his legs crossed. "Don't even try that, Shay. If your sister's hair has something to do with her powers, your's does too."

"I wouldn't call it a power," I muttered. "More like a curse."

He set a hand on my shoulder. "You can tell me."

I clenched my fist, squeezing my eyes shut as the memories flooded my mind. My childhood, Kennedy's heartbroken expression when she found our parents in my bedroom, the darkness I was trapped in, and the deal I had made to protect the ones that I loved. The deal was nothing but a trick.

"I-I can't," I whimpered, feeling hot tears slide down my cheeks. "I can't."

"Of course you can," Steve soothed, "but if you don't want to, you don't have to."

He deserves to know. But what happens when he runs away? What if I hurt him like I had done to so many others? He'll hate me. He's all I have besides Kennedy.

But he deserves to know.

Taking a deep breath, I began my story. "When I was born, I was dead. But, I was still alive. It was as if I were in a coma, but not at the same time. I was simply dead, but still alive.

"While I was in my own darkness, I was tortured. It was like I was possessed by an invisible monster. That monster took hold of me in a death-like grip, putting me into a darkness unknown to man.

"My parents could do nothing to save me. I guess when they were on the verge of giving up on me, I woke up. Just like that.

"I never told anyone about what I went through while in the clutches of that monster; what I had sacrificed to save everyone I loved. I gave my whole life away to the darkness.

"Because of this, I gained control over the most evil things one can think of: death and the dark. It was not a power, but a curse. I cannot control it. I made the mistake only once on my parents.

"I had killed my parents. Only at age seven. I got too angry at them. My eyes turned a charcoal black, I screamed, and then everything was silent. My sister had witnessed it all.

"Kennedy, even though she is my twin, is nothing like me. While she's a bright star, I'm nothing but a dark one.

"We were only seven when I killed our parents! We didn't have anyone else to turn to for help. Until SHIELD found me, they took us under their wing.

"They were only interested in my abilities. They thought: how did it get there? What's the source? Can it be stopped?

"All of that infuriated me. I didn't want them to touch me; to do experiments on me. I had made our life terrible, I didn't want them to make it worse. So, when they tried to do experiments on me, anyone that touched me, simply died just like my parents. But I regret it all.

"Do you remember when I said that I gave my life away? My time is almost up here. The monster comes to visit me in my sleep to tell me it's nearly time to go back. The darkness will come back. The darkness always comes back, Steve."

I willed myself to look up at him, a hint of sadness in his crystal blue eyes. "Y-you're saying that you're going to d-die?"

I nodded.

"We can stop that right? There's a way to stop it, there has to be! I don't want you to die, you're all I have left!"

I shook my head, feeling the unshed tears welling up in my eyes. "You can't stop darkness. It only spreads."

Steve jumped off the bed, pacing the room in front of me. He muttered things about his past, Charity, some German doctor, and a girl named Peggy.

He suddenly stopped, turning to me. "I lost her. I can't lose you too, Shay."

"It's not my decision to make."

He did something I never though he would. Especially to me of all people. I was in shock, but slowly, carefully, I kissed him back.

I was kissing Steve Rogers.

I could feel our tears blend together as he pulled me closer. I wrapped my arms around his broad neck, tangling my fingers through his perfectly combed over blonde hair.

The sparks. That ignited something inside me. It was a fire I've never known being that there was nothing but a dark soul under my skin. It made me feel like I was burning, but the good kind of burning. I was a Phoenix, soaring high, no worry in the world. I felt free.

Whether the action was done out of pity, utter desperation, or a sudden instinct of sorts, I couldn't help but just be indulged in the wonderful feeling this kiss was giving me.

When we pulled away, I looked at him with confusion. He stared back, the blueness in his eyes flooding like the depths of an ocean.

"Don't die on me, Shay," he whispered, resting his forehead against mine and closing his eyes. "Promise me you won't leave me."

I stared at his distressed features, sadness overcoming me. I couldn't promise him that. I'll die sooner or later. But I found myself unable to control my lips as I replied, "I promise."

(A/N: so, you know why Shay's hair is the way it is now. Hope you enjoyed this chapter even though it was a bit short!

Now that we're coming up quick to the end and focusing more on the Avengers as a team, here is my question.

QOTD: If you were to pick any Avenger (not including Loki, sorry!) to spend the rest of your life with, who would it be? I think I'd pick Tony because I love how sassy he can be, and he's just a great guy.

Vote if you liked this chapter, and if I need to work on something, anything, don't be shy to tell me. Your opinions matter so much to me and I want my work to please you.

Thank you very much for reading,

- Mikayla x

(Edited)