Cry myself to sleep every night
Hold myself together
During the day
Laughing at the right times
Smiling a lot
Being happy
Well trying
And sometimes
I can even convince myself
I catch myself
With a genuine smile on my face
But then
That's when I think of you
And how much more I'd be smiling
If I were with you
If I were just in your arms
Laying with you
Watching some stupid movie
With a predictable ending
And that's when
I have to try so much harder
To keep that smile on my face
To keep laughing
And talking to people
When the only thing
I actually want to do is
Go home and sleep forever
Because I'm not sad
When I'm asleep
Because I don't dream
And that's means I don't dream
Of you
And how amazing
It could be
And nobody knows
Because I don't tell them
Because they don't get it
So slowly
And completely alone
I die inside
c.e.
