A Guide To Love: Stucky One Shots

MY HEART BEARS YOUR NAME

Dilemma.

Confusion.

Anger.

Frustration.

What should he do? Should he burn it or drown in it? Should he breathe it in or expel it from his very being? Should he bask in its glow or hide it away in darkness? Should he give it his whole heart or convince his heart to let it go?

Proximity hurts, distance hurts even more. He couldn't come closer nor could he stay away.

The love in his heart is a burning furnace and Steve is powerless to stop himself from charring in it.

He looks at the ring adorning his left hand ring finger and sighs. He's a married man and in love, deeply in love.

~~~~~

"I'm home. " He walks into his house, briefcase in tow, house not home. 

"Welcome home, baby. I've made beef for dinner, since I know how much you like it.

Steve visibly flinches, cringes at the nickname. He fakes a smile and replies, as cheerfully as possible, that he can't wait to dig in.

Sharon, walks up to him, takes the briefcase from him and gives him a kiss.

" I've missed you. I love you."

She kisses him again and Steve is thankful he doesn't have to answer her. He doesn't know how he'll tell her that he didn't miss her, that he doesn't love her and how the ring on his finger is a like a cuff, chaining his heart and locking away his happiness.

He breaks the kiss as gently as he can and goes upstairs for a shower and change of clothes. Maybe if he'll scrub hard enough, his heart may forget him, his body will forget his touch and his brain will forget his intoxicating smell and addictive words. 

Bucky.

The name is like a firebrand on Steve's heart and soul. The man moulded and carved into his very being. He can see Bucky's eyes when he closes his own, can hear his voice in silence and see him in darkness. He's the caffeine Steve knows is bad for him but he needs it to function, to wake up; but it won't let him sleep.

He closes his eyes and hangs his head in shame. He's a married man with a beautiful wife. He'd promised to love her and cherish her for as long as he lived and to look after her but he couldn't. Steve Rogers had been stupid enough to believe that a drunken one night stand was the love of his life. He had been blind to his real love, the one who's been there with him since he could say his own name. He'd been ignorant of the fact that what he felt was bros  looking out for each other was actually the concern shown by two hearts beating for each other. He'd been unaware then, he was heart broken and hurting now.

He turned off the shower, toweled himself and put on clean clothes, clothes that didn't smell of Bucky's cologne or his own tears.

He walked downstairs and sat down for dinner. He smiled at Sharon, thanked her for the lovely dinner and proceeded to make small talk. 

"I was thinking of having a party Steve. Haven't seen our friends in so long. I'm really missing Sam and Bucky, you know. Those guys can make stone statues laugh."

She continued to say something, but Steve's mind had frozen at Bucky and him coming over. Bucky was hilarious, a treat to be around but Steve couldn't be around him now. Not after what happened today. He couldn't be under the same roof as Bucky Barnes and not expect to confess his love out loud, beg Bucky to marry him or offer himself on all fours.

He's bought back to himself by a hand on his forearm.

"You're not paying attention darling. See something you like more than my words?"