Damaged -Grayson Dolan-

Chapter Fifteen

I stood at the end of my driveway and stared at the empty sidewalk.

Left or right?

Left would direct me to the park. The right would take me winding through the neighborhood. Both were places Brandon and I had frequented on our runs. Both held memories now made painful by his absence.

I squeezed my eyes shut, thankful that it was a Sunday morning and no one was awake. I wore shorts and a tank top, something I avoided dressing in at all costs. I felt naked with my marred wrists and scarred shoulder from the accident bare to the world. I really was a disaster.

Just go. Just run. Run like you used to.

I opened my eyes and picked the path to the right, jogging at a reasonable pace. Running had always been my passion. I knew some people said they hated it and others couldn't stand to do it without music, but I absolutely loved it.

And it was another piece of me I had lost after the accident.

I'd completed my first half-marathon in the summer of my freshman year and had continued to do one ever since. I was the fastest runner on my cross country team and numerous D1 colleges had been contacting me about scholarships since junior year. I was so excited at the prospect of running in college and my family had supported me every step of the way.

I ran on, not caring where I was going at this point. The steady rhythm of my shoes was familiar, as was the small ache of breathlessness in my chest. I knew the latter would eventually fade. The first mile was always the worst, my coach had one told me. Your body has to get acclimated and adapt to what you are asking it to do. Once you complete that mile, then the real fun begins.

I reached the end of the street and turned left, picking up my pace. I turned right and then left and left again. My lungs began to burn but I ignored it.

Pain didn't bother me anymore.

~~~

My phone rang from the countertop. I reached for it as I gave my mom a thumbs up after finishing off the cookie she'd just given me to try. "That was really good."

"Of course it was," she said with a laugh. "I made it."

I rolled my eyes and answered the call. "Hello?"

"Alanna?"

"Oh, hey Grayson." My mom gave me a look and I hopped off the stool. I headed for the stairs. "Why are you calling?"

"I just felt bad that I fell asleep last night when we were supposed to be hanging out," he said from the other end.

I laughed and opened the door to my room, leaving the prying ears of my mom in the kitchen. "Don't feel bad. Remember I fell asleep the first time we hung out too. Except you had a valid excuse this time."

"True," he replied. "But still. So let's go get food. I'll pick you up in like 10 minutes?"

He was going to drive me. My heart rate picked up a bit at the prospect of sitting in the passenger seat. I pushed the feeling away and covered it with sarcasm. "Are you asking me on a date, Grayson Dolan?"

There was silence on the other end for half a second. "I- uh-" He stumbled over his words and I chuckled. "I was just messing with you. I'll be ready in 10."

"Okay," he said. We said our goodbye's and I hung up. Then I went over to my closet, deciding that my grey sweats and hoodie probably weren't socially acceptable. Grayson had failed to mention where we'd be going for food but I doubted it'd be any place fancy. I threw on a pair of running shorts and a longsleeved pull over. I yanked my hair from its messy bun and ran my fingers through the wavy tendrils. Then I swiped on a tinted lip gloss and sprayed myself with a little perfume.

There. Now I didn't look like a complete slob. I glanced at the mirror and took a deep breath. There would be no avoiding riding in the passenger seat of his car. I had to do this. I could get through this.

Maybe I should tell him. This would be a good opportunity.

No. I wasn't ready yet. My phone chimed from the other side of the room. It was Grayson.

I'm here

I hopped down the stairs and entered the kitchen. "Mom, I'm going to grab food with a friend."

She was wrist deep in dirty dishwater at the sink. "Is it this boy Grayson?" She squinted. "He's not the one that shoved you in the river, is he?"

"No, mom." I pulled on my shoes. "That was his twin."

"Oh alright." She blew a strand of hair from her face. "Have fun and be careful.

"I will. Love you." I gave her a quick hug before disappearing out the front door. Grayson was waiting in his car in the driveway and I took a steadying breath. In and out. In and out. I opened the passenger side door and slid into the seat.

"Hey," Grayson greeted me.

"Hey yourself," I answered, fastening the seatbelt. "Where are we headed?" My hands were trembling as he backed out of the driveway. I tucked them under my thighs.

"I was thinking smoothies." He replied, pulling onto the main road. "To get in the mood for warmer weather, ya know?" He glanced at me.

"Yes, I'm down for a smoothie anytime," I told him excitedly, trying to convert my anxiety into another form. Any other form.

Grayson laughed. "Well, that's good to know."

I smiled from my seat. I was so lucky to have him and the fact that not only was he so incredibly hot but cute and caring at the same time. I really had no idea how this happened to me.

And at any point in time, I could possibly ruin it all.