"Is it possible for my claustrophobia to... fade?" I squeezed one of the stress management toys in my hand and looked up at Sharon.
Her eyebrows shot up in suprise. Not that I blamed her, I never talked more than necessary during our sessions or asked any questions. She set aside her pen. "Claustrophobia is different with every person. Some are born with it while others can develop it from a certain event, like you. Yes, it is possible for it to fade or even completely disappear over time. However, it may flare up again at any point if triggered." She peered at me. "Why do you ask?"
I shrugged. "I've just noticed that I have been able to do... certain things I never thought I could before."
"That's good, Alanna." She praised, marking something down in her notebook. "Just remember not to push yourself past your limits, no matter how confident you feel."
I nodded.
"Alright, it's time. Are you still having the dream?"
I nodded again and closed my eyes as she asked me to describe it. It was the same damn thing over and over again. I was reliving the accident nearly everytime I closed my eyes.
And no matter what I did, I couldn't escape it.
~~~
The twins had a Saturday game today someplace an hour an a half away. So they pretty much were out of commission and Mina said she didn't feel well. I wound up in my kitchen sitting with my mom as she baked another batch of cookies. She said it was a stress reliever for her, that it helped her calm down.
"So," she measured out a cup of flour and poured it in a mixing bowl, "When do I get to meet this 'Grayson' boy?"
"Mom," I rolled my eyes.
"Don't 'Mom' me." She set aside the flour and grabbed the sugar. "I can tell he makes you happy."
"Okay," I said, burying my nose in my phone.
"So I only think it's appropriate your father and I meet your boyfriend at some point."
"He's not my...." I trailed off realizing that Grayson was, in fact, my boyfriend.
"Aha," she pointed a measuring cup at me. "See? I knew it."
I groaned, knowing I'd fallen into her trap. "Fine, fine. We're dating. But it hasn't been for very long! So let's hold off on meeting the parents, for now, Mom."
"Alright," she began to stir the ingredients together. "But it's going to happen eventually."
"Yes, eventually," I told her, hopping down from my seat. "I'm gonna go for a run."
She hummed in response and I climbed the stairs to my room. I pulled on a pair of athletic shorts and a Nike Dri-fit tank top. Once I'd started running again, it felt like I'd never stopped. I'd quickly regained the endurance I'd lost and was already up to five miles for my daily runs.
And I hadn't realized how much I'd missed it.
Even without the presence of Brandon by my side, I still looked forward to it every day. It was my escape from reality. The one time I could be completely and utterly alone with only my thoughts for company.
I tied my hair up into a ponytail and tugged on my shoes, lacing them up. I went downstairs and outside. It was cloudy and cool, but not uncomfortably cold. Perfect running weather. I started off, heading to the park today instead of taking a route through the neighborhood. I set a decent pace for myself, growing used to the slight burn in my calves and lungs. My watch gave a beep as I hit two and a half miles. I slowed my pace slightly to turn and then run back the way I'd come.
The sky gave a slight rumble above me and I glanced up. Clouds were gathering. I pushed myself a little faster but barely made it a quarter of a mile before it began to rain.
Great, I thought to myself.
Then it began to downpour. It was so bad I couldn't see five feet in front of me. I was completely soaked through. At least my phone and watch were waterproof.
I made it home in record time, dashing up the front walk and onto the porch. I leaned over, hands on my hips and checked my watch. 37.06 minutes.
That was my best time yet. Maybe I should always run in the rain.
I squeezed water from my shirt and hair and slipped off my shoes. Holding them in one hand, I pushed open the door and stepped inside. I set my sneakers on the mat, careful not to drip water on the floors. My mom was nowhere to be seen in the kitchen.
I quickly sprinted up the stairs and straight to my bathroom. I peeled the wet clothes from my body, shivering a little. I turned the knob on the shower and hopped in, letting the steaming water wash over my muscles. Once I'd finished, I climbed out and wrapped myself in a towel, wandering into my room.
I changed into a hoodie and shorts and combed out my wet hair. A knock came at my door. "Come in!" I called, running the brush through my hair again.
It was my dad. "Hi, honey. I see you got caught in the torrential downpour out there." He jerked his head to the window.
"Oh yeah. It made me run my best time yet though."
"Really? Did you break 40?"
"37.06," I told him proudly.
"That's awesome," he praised taking a seat on my bed next to me. "So your mom told me about this Grayson character."
"Dad," I said with an eye roll. "We are not at that stage yet."
"I know, I know." He held his hands up. "I just want to know who has my baby girl so happy."
"Like I told Mom, I don't think its time for a 'meet the parents night' just yet," I said with a smile.
"Understandable. But it will happen."
"Yeah, yeah. It'll happen." I picked up my phone.
"Alanna, what I really came in here to talk to you about was Monday."
"Monday?"
My dad nodded his head slowly. "It's the 2nd. March 2nd."
The date sent a pang down my body. How could I have forgotten?
"Oh," I swallowed.
My dad sighed. "Your mother and I don't expect you to go to school, but we do have to go to work. So if you stay home, you'll be alone."
"Okay," I said quietly.
"I love you, Alanna." He reached over and gave me a hug. "See you in the morning."
"Night, Dad. Love you too."
He left, closing the door behind him. I didn't move from my perch on the edge of my bed, my gaze fastened on the wall.
How could I have forgotten?
YOU ARE READING
Damaged -Grayson Dolan-
Fanfic"Don't you understand? I'm fucking damaged, Grayson. And I always will be." ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ Alanna Hath was been through hell. Tragedy shattered her world as she knew it and left her scrambling to pick u...