Repeating Apologies (Austlan Cashby)

You Don't Understand What I've Ben Threw

Austin's POV:

Its been a week sense I last saw Oliver. I've been making sure I stay clear of any area he may be at. I spend most of my time with Alan, cuddling in his hospital bed.

Thats fucking right. His fucking hospital fucking bed.

Tino was all bent out of shape yesterday because they wouldn't let him see Phil.

I hate to say it but.... I think this might be the end of the band. Not forever of course. Theres nothing we can do.

I have to make sure Phil gets some serious fucking help and that Alan gets better.

I cant do that on tour.

I'm sitting outside the therapists office right now. Listening to the guy talk to his patient while I wait.

He called me here to meet him a second ago, regaurding Phil.

The door opened and I looked up as the guy came out in a straight jacket. He had short spikey hair, brown, framing his face.

" Goodbye, Venom." The guy told him

Venom did not answer back. He just walked away.

The docter sighed and looked at me.

" Alright. Come on in." He walked in and I followed

" We are here to discuss Philip." He said, sitting down

Why the hell to doctors always state the obious?

" Get to the point, doc." I said as nice as possible

He cleared his throat.

" He is going to be charged with attempted murder. If he is admitted to a mental hospital he can get out of it. Therefore, I would recomend, Shining Hills Insane Asylem. Its got everything he might need or want. Its got enough secerity to keep in the military."

" So... If he goes there.... He wont have to go to court?" I asked quietly

" Right. He'll stay there for about three or four years, depending on his state of mind."

" He shot my boyfriend. Only a mentally insane or crimianl master mind does shit like that, doc. I don't know what you know about love and hate but god damn I'm starting to hate him."

" I understand that but-"

" No. You don't. You don't understand what its fucking like to hold your life in your arms as he dies. You don't know what its like to lose your mom. I don't-I cant- lose him like I lost her. As long as that son of a bitch lives I will loathe his ass. I'm done.

" And Tino loves him! That blind idiot fucking loves him! What the fuck am I supposed to do about that, huh?" I threw my hands up

" Nothing. You cant control someone elses love for another person."

" Your a big fucking help." I rolled my eyes

" He may be like this now, but soon he'll wake up and relize that PHil is mentally unstable."

" And when will that be?! When Phil succeeds in killing him?!" I threw my hands down on the desk, making him jump slightly

" Soon, Austin. Soon. I'll promise you that much. Soon."

" Fucking good," I got up going for the door, " I want Phil to get help. As soon as possible. No, sooner. I don't give a fuck if its possible."

" As you wish." He nodded

I walked out, going to Alan's room. He was in his bed, sleeping soundly. I sat down beside him and waited for him to wake the fuck up.

" Hey." I herd a soft vocie whisper from the door

Aaron was leaning there.

" Hey." I said back

" Herd you yelling at the psyco helper."

" Yeah."

" You okay? I mean, I get it if your not."

" I don't even know any more." I whispered

" At least he's stable." He said, jerking his head towards Alan

" Very true." I murmmered

" Sorry I just wanted- Austy......" A all to familure British voice floated into my ears

Here we go again.

~~~~~~~~

Here you go. Merry Easter Christmas