Cold Side➰ Boyxboy

5

Lucian declined Magnus' call for the fith time now. He didn't want to talk to him. What was Magnus thinking? That kissing him would be a good idea? That he would kiss him back? That would never happen. Something like this can never happen.

The biggest problem Lucian had right now was... he liked it. He wasn't supposed to like it. Not because it was a boy, Lucian accepted that he was gay, but he can't get attached to someone.

He would just get hurt again.

It was the next day and Lucian decided to just skip class.

Right now, Lucian was sitting on his bed listening to some metal music. His father wasn't home and he was so thankful for that.

The boy wants to feel love, to feel the bond of friends, to feek how it is to actually can trust someone. But, he is to afraid.

He got hurt so many times, how should it be different now?

He tore from his thoughts as it suddenly knocked at the door.

Lucian wasn't thinking about opening the door, but it knocked again and again and again.

He jumped up and ran to the door to open it.

"Who the fuck is-" he stopped talking as he looked into Magnus' face. As soon as he saw it was him he wanted to close the door but Magnus put his foot in between.

"Lucian, let's talk"

The boy had two problems with that.

First of all, he didn't want to talk to Magnus at all and second, his father could be home by any minute.

"Magnus, leave"

He pushed at the door but Magnus didn't care.

"Please Lucian" Magnus pleaded and Lucian gave in. Better get this over now before his father comes home.

"Fine, but not for long. I don't have much time“

He opened the door and went to the living room. Magnus stepped in and closed the door before following Lucian to the living room.

"What would you have to do? You're sick, remember?" Magnus said with a raised eyebrow.

Lucian rolled his eyes. "Just say what you wanna say and then leavs. And make it fast"

Magnus took a deep breath and then started talking "I wanna talk about what happened yesterday. You should know that... I'm not sorry that I kissed you but I'm sorry that it came so suddenly. I know, we've only known each other for about a month and I wouldn't say that I'm in love with you already but there is something and I want you to know that and I want to spend more time with and I am gonna spend more time with you regardless if you want to or not because if you don't feel anything and there's never gonna be something between us at least I wanna be around you, Lucian"

For Magnus, it felt so good to get it all of his heart. He wants Lucian. He wants to hold him, spend time with him, kiss him. And although he knows Lucian's a 'cold' person, he also knows that Lucian's real facs is hiding behind this facade of a cold and ruthless boy.

He knows that the always bruised boy is broken. But he wants to be the one to fix him. He wants to put all the broken pieces of the real Lucian Night back together.

Lucian just sat there, letting the words sink in. His hands started shaking. Why would Magnus say something like that? Why would he build hus hopes up to actually have a person he maybe could trust just so he could shatter it at the end.

Magnus looked at the shaking boy with concern in his eyes. "Lucian, please say something"

"Leave"

This one word, actually broke his heart, but Magnus wasn't thinking about leaving.

"No. I'm gonna stay here until you tell me about your feelings"

Lucian jumped up. "What are you? My fucking therapist? I said leave!"

He pushed Magnus back, but he only stumbled a bit.

"I want you to tell me how you feel about me Lucian. I want to be there for you, even if you don't like me back"

Magnus wouldn't give in. Not today.

"What don't you understand about the word leave!?"

Lucian was going to punch Magnus, but the other boy hold Lucian's arm and stopped him from doing so.

"Just tell me Lucian"

Magnus couldn't believe it. The boy, that people would describe as cold, rough, distant, emotionless, cried. He just began to cry in front of his eyes and he didn't know what to do.

"Leave! Leave! Why are you clinging to me so much since the start? Didn't I make it clear that I don't want to talk to you? Or hang out? Or text? Nothing good can ever come out of this things! I don't need friends and I don't need a partner. I just want to be alone, why don't you understand that? "

Lucian breathed heavily.

"I will never understand it Lucian. You can't understand something that's not real, so stop lying to yourself"

Lucian took a step back and looked at the floor. "I don't know what you are talking about" he got out quietly.

"You are scared, Lucian. I see that. I know that. You are to scared to trust someone because maybe they will hurt you to. I don't know who hurt you this much to make you cold towards others, but you need to stop that. You need to start trusting people again"

"You don't know what you're talking about Magnus. Please leave know, my father could be home by any second and no one should be here"

Magnus sighed. He didn't want to give in, but it's like talking to a wall. He needed to take things slow. He needs to start with baby steps.

"Okay, I'm leaving now, but please think about my words"

Magnus started to leave but turned around one more time. "Are you coming to school tomorrow?

Lucian nooded meekly.

"Cool, I'm going to pick you up and then we can go to school together. Bye Lucian"

He closed the door behind him.

Lucian just stood in the middle of the living room thinking about what happened right now.

He is starting to warm up to Magnus.

And he never was this afraid of something.