Sometimes it's a little too much...|| Emilio Martinez

Chapter 12

Emilio POV

Things didn't go as well as I wanted it to. It has been a few days since we came back. Everything is just hell for me. The boys are bullying me and it starts to get too much. Even tho Ivan tries to help me, it's still very hard. My depression is worst than ever, and I cut too many times a day. Just like now... I'm in the bathroom searching for my blade. My little friend, who helped me through lot of things. Sometimes I get to that point I should just end it once and for all! I know that suicide is a selfish thing to do but I can't take it anymore! It would be better for everyone..
Finally I found my blade. I roll up my sleeve and take a look on the damage I have done. My arm is covered in cuts. All the way down from the inside of my elbow till my wrist. Lighter, deeper, older cuts. Now I add a few more to my collection. The blood is dripping down from my arm. It feels good... it feels relieving. All of my problems are fading away, just like me... I'm fading away. Every day in my life a little piece of me turns into dust. Those parts will never come back. The old me vanished into thin air. I know that I can't be the same, never again.. The cuts show all the suffering I went through. How funny is that? They destroyed me in a month or a bit more than a month. They made me realize that... I'm just a waste. Nothing more. Waste of space, time and love.  That is all I am.  Waste.  Ivan tries to prove me otherwise but I think I'm too deep into this.  No one can save me. I can't be saved, I don't want to be saved. I'm cold all the time because of the blood loss. Sometimes I wish none of these would have never happened! I miss my old problem free life, I miss my old happy self...
Today they had that amazing idea, we should go to the beach. How amazing idea, isn't it? Thank God that today is a bit chilly and cloudy so I can get away with that I'm cold. Not like they would ask anything. They don't care about me. Maybe Tessa. She's the one who will be hard to convince but I'll be fine. I put together my bag, it containe a towel a change of pants, socks and a hoodie. My thoughts were inturapted by a knock on my door. "Come in!" "Hey Emi! You ready for the beach?" "Kinda. I mean maybe? But I won't swim or take off my hoodie!" "Yeah I figured that out. I'm happy though!" "Why?" "Because you joining us! It's a very big step!" "Yeah I think so.." "Come the others are waiting for us" "OK let's go!"-the ride to the beach wasn't to eventful. The insults came as usual, they picked on me as usual..
Everything went pretty good. I had to dress into the clothes that I brought with myself cuz Ivan threw me into the water. So in revenge I did the same to his clothes... Now he has to come home in shorts!
I finally felt happy but I can't have my happy ending.. Oh no...
My phone started to ring in my pocket. When I looked at the I. D. it was a unknown number. "Hello" "Is it Emilio Martinez?" "Yes it's me! Who are you, may I ask?" "My name is Doctor Rodriguez. I'm calling you because of your friend Alex." "What happened to him? Is he OK!?" "He.. He's dead! He committed suicide. I'm sorry for your loss!" - the whole world crushed down onto me. My best friend is dead....

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I know I'm late but Merry Christmas everyone! 😘
And Happy New Year!
                                          ~Nina~