Teenage Dreams (Harry Styles AU)

-Chapter 7

Louis' POV:

         I was at my flat that I shared with my best mate, Liam, as I paced the floors of our front room and allowed insane thoughts to ripple through my brain. Thoughts that were just thoughts... they couldn't be true, could they? I was just being insecure, just over analyzing things, wasn't I? I was sad, no, I was upset, no, I was scared, worried, petrified, mortified as my imagination ran wild. What if Carter left me in the dust? What if she just forgot about me and pushed me out of her and Sam's life, forever? She wouldn't do that, no. Would she? Is she already doing that? I can't loose the last of my family, the only people in my family that haven't disowned me. I've lost too much. I can't loose the most important people in my life too.

        Carter didn't tell me about her date with Harry. Carter tells me about every detail of her life, every single one. I was positive that when she decided to start dating again I would be the first to know. I guess I was wrong though. I suppose I shouldn't have expected her to just randomly call me one day and tell me about her date when I haven't seen her or Sam in a month. Why did she decide to just push me out of her and Sam's life so fast? What had I done? I missed Carter and Sam a lot, there loving company was always so lovely and comforting when I was in need of some affection and family. But, they haven't been around... Haven't needed me. Haven't wanted me. Maybe I just need them, they're all I've got left.

          I continued to pace the carpet on the floor, as my thoughts drove me insane at all the possibilities. I could be right, or I could be wrong, I tend to make up assumptions in my head when I feel threatened. And I feel threatened. I just don't know why. I heard our front door loudly swing open as it hit the wall, probably leaving a mark, but I didn't care there was already one there anyway. Seconds later an even louder noise sounded as the door slammed shut. The commotion didn't stop my pacing or my train of thoughts that was headed nowhere good. Why was I over thinking this? Why was I setting myself up for disaster when I knew that I was wrong? All of what I had been thinking for the past few hours was wrong. Incorrect. Invalid. Carter wouldn't do any of these things to me, not on purpose, and yet I continued to convince myself otherwise. I was like this. I had a self destruct button, and oh boy did I use it. That's why I always got into trouble. That's why I look like I'm in a gang. That's why my family hates me.

             "Louis?" I heard Liam's voice call as he entered the front room where I continued to pace. Two steps forward. Turn around. Two steps forward. Turn around. No doubt, I looked insane as I held my jaw tight in one of my hands, the other one gripping my hair. "She doesn't love me! Carter doesn't love me! She's going to take Sam and they're going to move far. So far away. I'll never see either of them again. I'll just die alone. I'll have no family. Carter hates me! What did I do? I can't fix it! I can't do anything right!" I shouted in frustration. The words never meant to leave my mouth, but they had been built up inside of me, wanting to be heard so desperately that I think they just kind of exploded out of me. Except... the wrong person heard them.

              I hesitantly took a glance up to see Liam, he was going to think I'm mentally unstable. Which isn't entirely false. Liam's face read pure confusion, but no judgment was shown, so I sighed in relief and decided to explain myself. "Carter has a date... and she didn't tell me about it. I guess I just got a little... paranoid?" I said with a bit of a laugh that held no humor. The wrinkles of confusion on Liam's forehead soon disappear and he then nods his head as he understands what I was talking about. Liam clapped his hand onto my back to show some type of support.

           "I'm sorry Lou, but you know Carter and Sam love you, they'd never leave you. Never. But, uh wh-who is uh taking her on a uh date?" Liam asked me nervously. I could tell he truly cared that my feelings were hurt, but I could also tell that he was jealous that Carter had a date with someone that wasn't him. "Harry. He's a guy that Carter goes to school with. Like her best friend their or something, I don't know. I guess he's like the only one she talks to at school. They're close. He's also Zayn's roommate, you know my mate? The one I work with?" I explained to him.