The Pandemonuim that is Evangeline Hisahoshi

Freak! Slut! Burnout! Bugeyes! Poser! Lard@$$!

Despite the heathers reference of the title I just lost one of my best friends today, at least I think so. And being the attention whore I am I went and talked and complained to a bunch of friends.

"Hey, I really need to talk to you beofre third period"

You know becuase Of the kids I had to beat.

"What's your next class?"

Thanks for worrying.

"Doesn't matter. I need to talk to you."

I did.

"Go to class."

Thanks for caring about me being late, but I needed to talk to you,

"(Insert his name) you don't know how hard it is for me to say this but-"

He walked off, and before I turned the other direction I sputtered this out: 

"I like you."

He avoided me the rest of the day. I tired to make eye contact but he would avoid my gaze and go the other direction. He won't talk to me though I tired to apologize a lot. I legit cried over this. Like, irl cry. I don't cry a lot.

I talked and talked and whined to my friends. I said some true things like me beginning fat, ugly, annoying, obnoxious, too loud, bossy, and asked what was wrong with me. What is wrong with me? With you beginning people of the internet you don't know the horrible monster that is the irl me, but they do.

They did everything in their power to cheer me up, but I know deep down I'm just not enough and I need to change if I want him to even consider forgiving me as a friend Andy allowing myself to move on.

The friend who liked him before called me after texting and was trying to convince me verbally which made me want to cry again. Honestly I want to pass out at this point. But she starts crying because she experiances this beofre and I felt a million times worse. I don't deserve her I feel I just hurt her like that.

She made me promise i won't think of myself like that and I told her I will try my best. I mean, it's the truth! I am fat and ugly and very loud and I can get controllive. She told me to talk to her whenever I feel those things, but I can't burden her even more. I can't throw my pain onto her. 

She was talking about things I also felt. Like how we weren't supposed to feel this way and only wanted to cry when we were alone because we don't wanna let people down. I'm still messed up about it. I am the one who made her cry because I hate myself. 

I'm going to ask you all. What's wrong with me? What do I do? How do I get him to forgive me for loving him? And I still don't know what the jerk boys said to him...

Well that's enough of me pouring out my life story.

Would this make a good book? Should I make another one Shots by book for another fandom? Continue one of my old ones? Make another cool short story? What do you want from me.

If I can't make irl people happy I want to at least please the Internet.