The Pandemonuim that is Evangeline Hisahoshi

Offline? Why Have U Been?

I know I haven't been online in a long time or writing and I feel super bad for it

But time simply doesn't allow me to.

I'm sorry.

I know I'm a terrible author and I keep jumping ideas it's terrible.

I'm so so so so so so sorry.

_

I've just been tired recently. So tired. Both physically and psychologically of them BS o jabs to deal with every single day.

My life just turned routine and I can't do anything right when it comes to my emotions or a single task I'm required to do.

SERIOUSLY HOW DID I GET A B IN ART!?

I'm a straight A student if you didn't catch on before so getting a B in f*cking art reaally p*sses me off.

And I cuss more because of stress, and I used to NEVER cuss before! It's like I'm a sailor now, with all the curses coming from my mouth.

Sometimes I'm sad for no reason and sometimes I do have a reason to feel this way and I just snap. 

For example every day I give a little snack to the guy I used to have a crush on in third period. Reason why? I like feeling responsible and I kinda owe him one. He also asked if I had extra food so I make sure to pack extra every day. Terrible reason I know. So I was lazy so I just threw it at him. This tall Doris walks in the What and catches it instead walking away. I was already p*ssed for other reasons so I literally grabbed the back of his hoodie and growled at him to throw it back. Keep in mind we are inside the classroom just before the bell. He throws it back after I saw "I'm not in the mood for your sh*t today"

And I wasn't! I tried giving my current crush a clever Tee Shir with a pun and he wouldn't accept the gift! He hates me. More proof of this is I friggn bought pizza for the whole first period class, which he's in. He was the only person who didn't show up. The only f*cking person who didn't show up. His reason? He said he wanted the cafeteria food. Over pizza, breadsticks, cookies, and soda. Yeah. I tried everything. I'm close to giving up.

I've never felt this sad before, well.... I have and I put it in here but I'm getting pretty close to that point. So close that coming home is the highlight of my day and going to softball practice is the highlight of my week. I love my family and they are the Best. My teachers are also awesome.

Well, other than that the only thing other worth mentioning is i have an audition on the twenty first after spring break. I picked a monolouge that was relatable to me for everything except the girl's parents dying.

So....I'm sorry I wasn't updating. I still love you guys

~Eva