caraphernelia || l.h

goodbye

let's just pretend Mayday Parade don't exist or at least this song ok

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I loved standing up on stage. Even just a  little one in a local club like the one me and the boys were performing in. I think this is the last time I'm going to be talking to you. I'll tell you why later on.

You know I said I had written a lot of songs since you broke me? Well one of them was called Miserable at Best. I wrote it a couple of weeks ago. It's what I was singing as this process of thoughts entered my brain. Now, I'm writing these and the song down for you.

Baby, don't cry, I know

you're trying your hardest

and the hardest part is letting go

of the nights we shared

Nights we shared are still engraved into my brain. They always will be. You will always be everything to me but I want a normal life back, my old life. I don't think I'll ever get over you but that doesn't matter as long as I can get better.

Ocala is calling and you know it's haunting

but compared to your eyes, nothing shines quite as bright

and when we look to the sky, it's not mine, but I want it so 

Your eyes were my favourite part about you. They were always shining whether it was with happiness, sadness, anger, any emotion you were feeling. I know I told you every day that I loved your eyes but I meant it every single time. I still haven't found a pair of eyes that even come close to matching the brilliance of yours.

Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight

(i know he's there and)

you're probably hanging out and making eyes

(while across the room, he stares)

You love him now, I know that. I know that you're still with him even know. It hurts me to think of that fact but you're happy and I gues that should be all that matters.

I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor

and ask my girl to dance, she'll say yes

You certainly said yes when he approached you. How else would you already love him while you still with me? I'm no idiot, I know what you did. It's possible that it hurts me more knowing you were so unhappy with me, you looked elsewhere.

Because these words were never easier for me to say

or her to second guess

but i guess

that i can live without you but

without you I'll be miserable at best

I write songs because you know I was never good at telling people how I felt. That's why I write these. I'm not ever going to give this to you. This is a release for me and my feelings and a way to write everything down. I have hundreds of songs written because of the feelings I've had since you left me and about zero of them are happy. Maybe you'll hear some one day, if my band ever gets big.